Tuesday, November 8, 2011


**For those who are coming for the first time, this post is about my lovely friend Fairyeggs who donated her eggs to me for our third IVF cycle. I wrote about how I felt about our relationship after I took my son E to North Carolina to meet her and her family for the first time when he was one.**

Before I went to North Carolina to visit with Fairyeggs, I had a brief moment where I wondered if physically seeing little E would change the wonderful balance we have now. This was a veeeeery brief moment. Our friendship has remained consistent through tornadoes, snowstorms, broken down buses, a car accident, living in different countries, children, and dating boys. Of course we would be just fine! It's only human nature to have a wandering thought or two which is why she had a moment of questioning too.

In reality, we have an even stronger friendship than we did prior to little E.

Now there is something between our families that stretches like a gossamer thread. It's a thread so faintly visible that most people barely perceive it, but you can feel it as it brushes across your face. There are threads that run between me, Fairyeggs, our moms and dads, our sisters, our husbands and our kids. It comes from the shared experience from the start of infertility treatments until now. Since I have always shared what we were going through, my family and hers were there for all of the ups and downs.

When we talked about it over Mexican food and margaritas, we agreed that we don't define E's relationship traditionally. By this I mean that neither of us think she is "mom." Similarly, we don't view her kids as siblings with little E. Yet at the same time, there is this connection which we've decided is more like cousins, but not exactly....? Although he's not really talking yet, we decided to have little E call her by the name that her niece and nephew currently use which I think is ridiculously sweet. The role of auntie fits, but is also not inclusive enough. :)

The feeling I left with from the trip was just an overwhelming feeling of love, acceptance, and family. I personally have no term for the woman who gave me this beautiful incredible baby boy. I'm just really grateful to have her and everyone around her in our lives.


No comments:

Post a Comment