Monday, November 30, 2009


Whew! Nablopomo is officially ending! This means that I have officially completed thirty blogs in thirty days! I had two blogs that went a few minutes into the next day, but in the spirit of the holiday merriment, I think those can be excused! Thanks for listening to me in November! Lots of love to my blog readers!


Sunday, November 29, 2009


Do you ever wonder what kind of mother you'll be? The thought occasionally crosses my mind. But I say occasionally in all seriousness because I stopped holding my breathe for a double-lined pee stick quite awhile ago.

So since I don't have any comparison, I look at the care of my very sweet, not-so-little dog.

I embarrass the crap out of her by dressing her up in holiday fun.
I frequently post pictures of her every move on facebook.
I wipe her poopy butt.
I let her sleep in my bed, wedged between us.
I tell stories of her achievements and antics to my friends.
I consider buying her toys a "necessity."
I torture her with lots and lots of pictures.

Yep, I'll be one of those annoying moms. I hope it happens one day because I dearly love my little Sweetpea.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Floozy Pictures

Today my mother served as the madam of her flock of floozies. hahaha!

One of my favorite pictures as a kid was the old-time tin photo my family took at Sil.verDollar.City in Bran.son. I've always thought we looked a little bit like the pilgrims in fact. You can still see my sister's freckles in the picture as well as my round little four-year-old face. So since we are in the area, we decided to update this shot.

Of course now that we are older and wiser, we thought the appropriate background would be a saloon with floozies and gunslingers! The first costume I put on my husband sent me back to change for one with more cleavage. Boys. The second was this red skirted outfit with black ruffles and just a peek-a-boo of the girls. Perfect! My sister opted for a blue and black lace dress with the perfect little feather adorning her red curls. Mom definitely hit the jackpot in her red and black madam outfit. Hubby and dad both donned gunslinger apparel and sat playing poker. Classic!

How about that family picture? Yep, this one is slightly unconventional.


Friday, November 27, 2009

48 hour break!

It's really nice taking a break from thinking constantly about all of this IF crap. Having a house full of family and running around as my husband's minion (aka sous chef) has left me little time to contemplate all the details and crap. Yay! Besides my mini-meltdown on Tuesday, I have been completely infertility free! Yes, that means for 48 hours I have not Dr. Googled anything. I have not thought about flights. I have not thought about failure. I have not thought about anything except getting what's right in front of me done.

My mini-meltdown came from FairyEggs having to get all of her testing done. The tests shouldn't be a big deal, right? These are all of the infectious disease, RH factor, blah, blah, blah. A couple of vials of red stuff and a cervical swab--check, check--done! No, the nurses at her office have to scare the crap out of us by saying it will cost us thousands of dollars. Repeatedly! Usually I just blow it off and understand that it will be just be fine in the end.  This didn't quite happen on Tuesday.  Instead I let myself get worried and then overwhelmed from all of the Thanksgiving shoppers in Trader Joes. As we moved on with our shopping I just felt sick and then absent-minded in mildly confused sort of way which tells me my blood pressure shot through the roof. Both of my parents hugged me, and I managed to calm down a bit.

The next day I just told her to go ahead and go to the clinic and not to worry about it. I think that the nurses were just overstating it since they have nothing to do with the billing and such. Anyway, FairyEggs and I vowed to relax and just go with the simple way in the future. Keep it simple stupid! {laughing at myself}

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Tryptophan is my friend.

Mashed Potatoes
Butternut Squash
Sweet Potatoes
Green Bean Casserole
Creamed Onions
Hot Rolls
Apple Pie
Whipped Cream
Pumpkin Pie

...all made from scratch. Seriously all I have to say is after all of that delicious food is that....I have a great life.

I love my husband.
I love my family.
I love my dog.
I love my FairyEggs.

Life is good today, and I am thankful.

Happy Turkey Day Blogland!


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Oh the places we will go...Part Deux

Well, folks, we have a winner! Can you guess where we are moving?

It snows there.

It's cold.

It's on the west side of the US.

It's not part of the contiguous 48 states.

Do you know yet?

Do ya?

Do  ya?

We're moving to......



Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Just a quick note tonight because today has been a fun but busy day with a visit to St. Louis to include lettuce wraps at PF Changs, Trader Joes, Sams, Target, Petsmart, Pottery Barn, Dillards (with a small IF meltdown in the store) and then the airport to pick up my darling sister! Lots of love to blogland hoping you Americans are getting ready for a kickin turkey day! :)


Monday, November 23, 2009

Warm Me Up!

Some of my favorite people came to see me today--the 'rents! Since they are spending their week-long holiday with ME, I get a week full of love, games of cards, good food, laughs, and our holiday monopoly game (you are going down momma!). More to follow on all of the good stuff, but for tonight I leave you with a pic of my new gift from mom--a pie plate! :)  Can't wait to make apple pie in it!

Sunday, November 22, 2009 very own fairy godmother!

Last night I asked FairyEggs to take a stab at writing a guest post for the blog. For any of you ICLWers, FairyEggs is one of my best friends who will be our donor for our cycle in January. I love her dearly and thought it would be fun for you to get a little perspective from her. Without further ado, I give you my very own personal fairy godmother!

Well, I am FairyEggs….I am not as eloquent as J, but want her to have a baby almost as badly as she does.  I feel like this journey has been going on for a very long time for her, all the while I am complaining and whining about my three healthy, beautiful kids to her.  After the last negative test I just sat on my couch and cried for her.  Would she ever know the feeling of holding her child in her arms?  Was there anything I could do for her?  I had already offered to be a surrogate for her.  But obviously that wasn’t the problem.  My husband wasn’t thrilled about the idea that I would be pregnant with someone else’s child, but he was supportive because he knew how much it meant to me.  Then the idea of donor eggs came up while I was talking to her.  I immediately told her I wish that I could help her, but I just didn’t think I could know a biological child of mine was out there. 

I got off of the phone and talked to my husband who shocked the heck out me.  He said he would rather me give my eggs to J than for me to carry her child because you don’t bond with eggs!  He said that I wasn’t using them anymore, so I might as well give them to her.  I thought on that for a while and then realized that I would give her a kidney, so why not my eggs!  Either way it is just sharing a little DNA.  The fact of the matter is DNA doesn’t make you a parent.  It is purely a vehicle with which you make a baby (a beautiful one if I might add).  I thought and thought about it.  I was awake most of the night thinking about it and then came to the conclusion that there was no way I COULDN’T do it.  It took everything I had to not call her at 7 am and tell her.  I had to wait until I got off work at 1 pm to give her the good news. 

J is the very best friend I have ever had in my life.  She is right there with my husband, mother and sister.  I wish we could live next door to each other and complain about our husbands and kids while we drink coffee (or Diet Coke) together.  We may not be around each other everyday, but she is a part of my daily life.  


Isn't she great? Love her!


Saturday, November 21, 2009

What kind of question is that?

Dad - You probably don't want to read this one. :)

I forgot to tell you my favorite little tidbit from my acupuncture visit. When I was filling out the lovely doctor's questionnaire, one of the questions was "Are you able to get pregnant? Yes or No"

Well dear doctor, I really have no effing clue. Because here is the deal, I've been shot up with sperm from a glorified turkey baster while I supposedly had six or seven follicles and never got knocked up. Then because I thought it would be fun, I shot myself full of some really expensive [legal] drugs, poked a needle through my ute, and then proceeded to experiment with my eggs not once, but twice....both resulting in a BFN.

So you tell me, Dr. Acupuncture, is it possible that I get pregnant? We're not really sure. However, I'm pretty sure that with my eggs, it is damn near impossible. But with any luck, I might get to try and see if it's possible in January with the help of my dear FairyEggs!

There, take that little check the box question!

And to my fellow bloggers, Happy ICLW!


Friday, November 20, 2009


Yesterday I was way too excited about our list of future home locations to tell you about my first acupuncture treatment!

The fact that we lived in the middle of nowhere for my first two IVFs meant there wasn't an acupuncturist to be found between my house and the docs 2.5 hours away! Now, although I still live kind of in the middle of nowhere, I have an acupuncturist about five minutes away. Yay!

My acupuncturist/chiropractor definitely has a quack factor about him. I have to say that because I can't really believe that by placing my hand on a silver/purple mouse like attachment connected to a computer can tell me things that I am missing in my diet, what bones in my back need adjustment, and what organs are stressed. But hey, who would think sticking needles in your ears would work either? Anyway, the analysis showed that I need adjustment in my lipotrophic (fat) balance, immune system and small pre/post natal vitamins and norepinephrine adjustments. Additionally the report was able to accurately identify my out-of-place vertebra which shocked the bejeezus out of me! Apparently the device sends electrical signals through the body and based upon the responses it gets it determines what you need. Hmm. I'm not sure what to think of this!

Then we headed into the acupuncture area for ocular (ear) acupuncture. With about twenty needles in my ears, I decided it was a little crowded in that area so I refrained from laying down or scratching. hehehe. Instead I sat and stared at the poster until they came to de-needle me. The sensations that would roll down my arms and legs when they tapped the needle in was pretty darn cool though.

Although I initially went in for just acupuncture, the doctor went ahead and cracked (adjusted) my neck and back. Ah, sigh of relief.

I walked out two hours later and simply felt marvelous! Yay for acupuncture!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Oh the places we will go...

Part of the fun of the military life is of course finding out where your next home will be. Even though I've lived here for under two months, we already know we'll be moving on in April or May because he is just here for a school. Today we entered the first step in the process as we were given a list of the upcoming vacancies. Surprisingly, our last post wasn't even on the list.

After I got home from my acupuncture appointment (more on that later), my husband ever so nonchalantly handed me a folded up piece of paper. I unfolded it to find military crap listed in a couple of columns. Then after staring at it for a few more seconds, I figured it out. These were the possibilities! Happy dance!

There are so many things to consider for each post: local area, the quality of job opportunities for V, teacher's salaries in the area, cost of living, weather, and for anything over the water, transportation and laws regarding dogs. Some places like Ger.many have crazy hoops to jump through with American makes me hesitate for some of the more glamorous places.

Here are the top three on our list of twenty-one possibilities: Alaska, Japan, Italy.... I'm just hoping I get something above number eight on the list! Once we get past that, I'm not very excited. So here we go, throwing the dice to see where we'll go next!


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Not Exactly Wordless Wednesday

Sweetpea likes to lick. Specifically, she likes to lick my husband's legs and shaved head. Hubby calls it "paying homage." And yes, she actually will start licking on command when he says this.

Sometimes in the middle of the night, she will get up and lick every inch of his head while he is sleeping. Ew, gross.

So the other night, I walk in to find my husband sleeping and Sweetpea looking at me. . .

All I could think was, "I'm sorry am I interrupting something?"

hahaha. Love my furbaby.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Moving Along

It's a pretty radical change for me to have a fifteen minute phone conversation with my RE instead of driving 2.5 hours each way for my thirty minute appointment. He he he. After finding out that my medical records hadn't arrived because my file was too thick to fax, Dr. Leprechaun and I went over some of my basic medical stats.

Oh, you have high blood pressure? Yes, I know I'm at a higher risk during pregnancy. It's controlled. I don't eat anything with the white death in it!

Do you have any fertility issues in your family? No? That sucks because you're thirty-three. Yes, I agree.

Thankfully, my medical records were sent last week and should be arriving any day now in LA. The list of tests for hubby and I that needs have all been done within the last six months.  Also, FairyEggs will be having a discussion about her medical history and other things with him tomorrow.

We're also on the books for hubby's sperm donation in December during his break. I decided to just use this as an excuse to get back to California for a visit! I've been really wanting to go to Disneyland (a little strange for me) and also get some fabulous Korean food. The tickets are purchased!

So things are moving along albeit in a strange no-appointment way!


Monday, November 16, 2009

Origins of my Title

Someone asked me the other day how I came up with the title of my blog. Well, the origins of my title are pretty simple. As most of you know, my husband is in the Army. We started working with our Louisiana RE about four months before my husband deployed to the sandbox. I originally thought that we would just have to pause our treatments until SuperNurse told me that we could freeze a bunch of samples and keep going! We were ecstatic.

If you have spent any time around military communities, you know that gossip spreads faster than butter. With my husband in a command position, I was a hot topic with the QueenBee. This of course made me laugh my ass off as I have never had much interest in cashing in on my husband's position because I had a life and successes of my own! Maybe I've just never thought of him as that imposing of a figure as I usually meet all sorts of people who far outrank him. Small fish in a big pond.

The point of this is that my husband and I thought it would be damn funny if I got knocked up when he was away. You know, people can count. They would know that I didn't get knocked up when he was still home. They would know that he hadn't come home for leave. Du, du, duh....they could draw their own conclusions! lol. I would be knocked up by another man!

Of course, I was naive enough to think that it would actually happen when he was away.

Incidentally, I chose "knocked up" because that's how I chose to tell my grandma about the IUIs and IVFs. She's still laughing that those words came out of my mouth to her. :)

And there you have it folks!


Sunday, November 15, 2009

ing with a plan

Part of arranging this whole crazy upcoming cycle is simply logistics. While I wait anxiously for my phone call on Tuesday to review my history and decide on any more necessary testing, I have been mulling over certain plans. Today's question is how to I get the sperm to the lab in LA?

Hubby's training class requires that he not miss more than a couple of hours at most or he risks being recycled into the next class. So taking off in January for a fresh sample on egg retrieval day is certainly out. I imagine that we can either a) fly out during the winter vacation and donate it at the clinic; or b) drive up to St. Louis and have a local clinic process and then send the sample to LA via some fancy service.

Option A sounds much easier except for the fact that hubby really wants to visit his sister in New Hampshire. Since he hasn't seen her before his deployment, I really want to make this happen. It happens that she and her husband are also great, so I want to see them too! So we'd have to fly to LA with nice xmas time fares, board the dog, and then turn around and drive up to see her.

Option B just sounds a little strange to me and more complicated in that another clinic will have to be involved.

Neither option is really that big of a deal in the scope of this upcoming cycle. Either way, a little frozen sample with some ICSI will take care of the fertilization. But at the same time, it's something to figure out. Even though I would love to go to New Hampshire and go skiing and drive down to Boston for some sightseeing (never been there!), our focus is of course to get everything set up for the cycle.

I just really have been jonesing to get out and go on a vacation where hubby and I can do some things together! Whaaa, right? Yep, I know that all of our funds are in the future-baby-sector. All of our time off is similarly focused. But these things percolate around in my brain from day to day, and I find myself wishing for vacation simply to escape my thoughts. However, a vacation will not make the incessant baby-making chatter disappear in my head! A girl can dream though!


Saturday, November 14, 2009

Wonderful Day

This morning my hubby rolled over and tried to shake me awake. I don't think I moved a muscle. But eventually I dragged my behind out of bed and threw on a baseball cap so we could go pick up trash! An association he joined last week has an adopted highway mile so we went out to help the local chapter do their quarterly cleanup. As much as trash pickup doesn't sound exactly glorious, I felt productive and helpful. It was nice to be social and meet some of hubby's classmates anyway. We went and gorged ourselves afterwards at Honkey Bucket which was de-lish!

Three days until my next phone conversation! Whoohoo!

Friday, November 13, 2009


I'm strangely insulted that I apparently did not get the job. What's funny is that I didn't even really want it because it would cause me a lot of stress come January. So I'm a little surprised at myself that I feel miffed! After all, this is the first job I've ever not gotten! (Snot, I know!) How could you not want me? I may not be able to get knocked up, but I'm a fantastic teacher! lol. However, the biggest part of me is relieved because now I can happily sub and teach my online classes!

So on this note, let me celebrate this good news with the fact that this is my 100th post! Whoohoo!


update: yeah, I'm over it!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

FairyEggs is a Go!

Yesterday, I called Dr. L's office to see if he had a chance to review FairyEgg's results. When he called, he first said that she wouldn't be a good choice but then turned the page and changed his mind with her nice antral follicle count! Her blood tests were borderline with her E2 level at 50.1 when they were looking for below 50. Her FSH was a 9.6 which was slightly under the 10 maximum they will accept. However they usually want at least eight antral follicles, and she had thirteen! Yes, her follies are definitely our over-achievers here! So, happily we have FairyEggs green-lighted for our cycle!

This morning I faxed off my record request to Dr. S so that we can be ready to go on Tuesday when Dr. L calls me to go over my history. Incidentally, Dr. S was delighted to hear of our good fortune for this cycle. He's so great. :)

In other news, I interviewed for a third grade teaching position at the school across the street from me. As nice as the principals are, I am kind of hoping that I don't get the job. I know that sounds strange, but the vice-principal told me that I could probably sub everyday somewhere in the school district if I wanted. With an up-coming cycle, this might actually work out better for me. I could be busy but not stressed when I needed to take off time. We'll see!


Wednesday, November 11, 2009


The service of our veterans is something I never really connected with until I married a soldier. The men and woman I have met through this time have been an impressive example of people who understand what being an American means. The love and honor of our country is not some intangible idea but rather something they sacrifice their lives for. Sacrifice comes in many forms through the daily pounding of their bodies during physical training to long years away from their friends, families, and life. I know families who have had their soldier pay the ultimate price of their lives and others who sacrifice seeing their children take their first steps or lose their front teeth. All soldiers and their families sacrifice parts of themselves for our freedom. They stand on the wall for us so that we don't have to.

These experiences have made me think about what it would have been like for my mom's dad, who served during World War II and was on the second wave behind the marines on Iwo Jima. What part of himself did he sacrifice for this country? Was it his innocence? Was it this experience that defined him as a man of principle? Is this what turned him into the gentle giant I remember? I think of him when I look at men of his age who proudly wear their veteran's hats and wish he was still here.

In the mix of all of the politics and media, today I think of all of the men and women who have served our country in the military. I think of them and appreciate that they are strong enough Americans to endure what they do.

Happy Veterans Day.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Got News?


I did have a great day shopping though! Fellow blogger and military wife and I joined up for a nice day of shopping. Christmas is definitely in the air since the sales and music are in full-blast mode. I managed to scoop up some long-sleeve shirts, a set of PJs, t-shirts for V and a couple of presents for my favorite boys. Between a gyro and frozen custard, I had a great food day too!

FairyEggs and I are anxiously waiting for news from Dr. Leprechaun. Hopefully he'll call tomorrow and put us out of our misery!


Monday, November 9, 2009

Mission Possible?

Our mission? To get FairyEgg's FSH, E2, and antral follicle count set up and completed today. The problems? No doctor's orders and no response from the clinic we want to monitor at in FairyTown. {cue music}

One overly concerned nurse.
One discarded idea for using doctor's office.
Two coordinating clinics.
Three fax machines.
One non-functioning fax machine.
One efficient coordinator.
One credit card number.
Five phone calls with FairyEggs.
Seven phone calls with the clinics.
One last minute babysitter.

The clinic managed to squeeze FairyEggs in late this afternoon for her tests which was fan-freaking-tastic! Otherwise, we would have had to wait until next month to even see if she would be a viable donor. The doctor saw around thirteen resting follicles which he said was above-average for thirty-three. Whoo! Tomorrow they will fax the results to my clinic in LA. Hopefully Dr. Leprechaun thinks her results are good enough to proceed.


Sunday, November 8, 2009


Amongst my many hours of searching on the internet, I came across the Parents via Egg Donation website. After reading an article on how egg donation is a taboo subject despite in-vitro becoming more commonplace, I found it interesting to find a group of people who have this unique perspective. Since they have members who are going through egg donation, are currently pregnant, and are raising children, they really cover the scope of issues which helps! I'm getting excited!


Saturday, November 7, 2009


My mind, emotions, and even house have been caught up in a whirlwind since this last cycle. Today I think it stopped beating me up. 

Having Fairy Eggs volunteer to help is simply one of the most lovely things I have ever had happen to me. The gratitude I feel towards her is from the bottom of my heart. My heart is filled with love and friendship towards someone who has been there for me since my freshman year of college. While of course we have had our ups and downs, she has always been a constant. And in one of my darkest moments when I couldn't see any light, she brought some to me. She brought light to my future.

At the same time I feel guilty. I feel guilt that she will have to subject her body that she has whipped into shape to bloating and discomfort. I feel bad that her kids lives will be disrupted for the week she's gone. I feel guilty that she'll really miss them during that time. I feel bad that even with a great babysitter to help out that her husband will have his hands full during that time. I feel bad that she has to pull her IUD out soon and go back to condoms! The list goes on. 

I know that she is willing to do all of this for me, and it is irrational to worry about things I can not control. But at the same time, I feel unworthy of what she is willing to do for me. 

Feeling this guilt made me have serious doubts as to whether or not we could pull this donor egg cycle off. Thinking about the logistics started to overwhelm me a little. Then the news about Dr. Leprechaun offering his services came. While part of me was dancing inside, the other part was swirling. Too much stuff I guess.

And at the heart of the matter, I think I was and still am really scared. I'm not new to this IVF game. We have gambled and lost. After this last cycle, I was really despairing. Those of you have been there know how the anger and sadness swirl together into a confusing mess that literally feels like your heart is hurting. When I saw a fellow Blogger's donor cycle start to falter with young, young eggs, I wondered if I knew what I was getting into. Because despite all of the good signs, there are still no guarantees. If the heartache gets worse with every cycle, I will have a hard time climbing out of the depths this time. This is what makes me scared.

But today, I think the whirlwind of all these emotions stopped. 

Sometime this morning, I pulled out my inner Dorothy, slipped into my shoes and pulled myself together. I'm not perfect, but I am surrounded by people who love me, support me, and are willing to help. I need to suck it up and focus on the reason they are doing this for me. Instead of worrying about the details and planning, I need to just be confident in myself because these are things I am good at! I need to appreciate the opportunity for what it is--another chance to try.

So now, now I'm going to get on with it. Hugs to all of you who read and support me! 


Friday, November 6, 2009


I have been so preoccupied with waiting to find out the good news of yesterday that I have completely avoided doing the work I needed to get done this week.

Today I am suppose to clean the house, but since I put off grading my large projects for my online university class, I have been doing that all day instead! Oh well, the house will keep. Nothing looks dirty anyway! {cringe}

So instead of having a nice clean house today, I have a sore butt. The sore butt comes from sitting in the upright position all day at the kitchen table so I can assess multicultural scenarios and child development presentations. I couldn't very well sit on the couch. You know what happens when I sit on the couch and haven't had any caffeine! Naps!

Sigh, I know it's a rough life....! {evil grin}

Incidentally, my groin (not a pretty word) muscles and shins are also sore from the jog I decided to take on the treadmill the other day.

I don't tell you this to complain but rather to illustrate how low I have sunk. I would much rather spend hours dr. googling away or looking at adoption agencies....or ooh, the miracleswaiting website...donor egg groups...contracts for donor eggs...aaaah! Before I know it, the day has passed by without any of my items getting done. This is what I have done all week. Obsessed and preoccupied!

So today I have to resolve that next week I will not while away the hours with searching. Really, I won't! :)


Thursday, November 5, 2009

My Pot of IF Gold

Yes, today I fell into my personal pot of infertility gold. At the moment, I am so amazed at my good fortune, I feel like I'm doing backstrokes through the gold coins with my lucky leprechaun standing by ready to hand me my pomegranate juice.

Because of a family connection, we have become the recipients of a cycle in which the RE will be donating his services to us.




After a five minute phone consultation with him this afternoon, he definitely thinks we should head towards donor eggs. Since FairyEggs is of the advanced maternal age of 33, {evil cackle} Dr. Leprechaun says she is not the ideal candidate. That kind of made me laugh because I can't think of many people that I would prefer to have donate. It made FairyEggs feel old, which she obviously is not! We will be having FairyEggs get her Day 3 FSH, estradiol, and resting antral follicle count from a local clinic. With AF coming soon for her, we should know the deets pretty soon. With this info in hand, Dr. Leprechaun says we can be headed towards our cycle in January.


Financially we will be responsible for the anesthesiologist ($575), fertility drugs (@$4k), and a few minor things. At the end, we should be at less than $6k.

We certainly never saw this coming. Since Friday night when we found out about the possibility, I think I have been holding my breath.

I'm very excited for my hubby to get home so I can share the news with him! Yes, I'm a bad wife and told you first!

Cheers and cartwheels!


Wednesday, November 4, 2009


I have really been enjoying my caffeine lately. Yep, right after the BFN, I went and ordered a large diet coke. Yum, yum. Loved every drop too. However since our IF direction is unclear right now, I've been severely limiting my intake to desperate times.

These desperate times are pretty pathetic right now. Since I am only teaching my online university classes, I really don't have any schedule I must adhere to. Hmm. That means when I wake up in the morning, eat my cereal and let the dog out, I usually sit down on the coach and get very sleeeepy. Since I am under no pressure, I simply give in and enjoy my delicious nap.

In order for me to actually wake up at a reasonable time, I have to give in to the siren call of caffeine. After all of these years, I still don't really enjoy coffee except for an iced-non-fat latte with a splen.da from Star*bucks. So the only option is a nice sugary coke from my husband's stash. The sugar is a double-bonus since we've stopped buying anything like that.

So with everything up in the air, do I stay away from caffeine? Do I start the crazy healthy diets that have been driving other IF bloggers nutzo? Do I finally go to an acupuncturist now that I have access to one? Does any of this stuff really make a difference? Help me, oh blogger friends!


Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Can I go hide in the bathtub too?

Monday, November 2, 2009

Favorite holiday coming soon!

September and November are my very favorite months of the year.  September brings the cool-down from summer heat, apples, new pencils and of course my birthday. However November is what I look forward to most because of fall leaves, turkey, and pumpkins wrapped up in Thanksgiving!

Sandwiched between Halloween and Christmas, two holidays I didn't celebrate growing up, Thanksgiving was the big family holiday to enjoy. Most holidays we celebrated, people had no idea what they were. But Turkey day was something I could enjoy without any explanation.

So today I sit on my tremendously comfy couch, anticipating the upcoming holiday. My parents and sister are flying in for most of the week since hubby will have the most limited schedule out of all of us. I love love love that my family will take the time and trouble to fly out to see me. I have been contemplating things to do during the week along with a fabulous menu for the big day and probably several days after. I can't wait to eat the leftover pumpkin pie for breakfast with absolutely no guilt!

In the meantime, I am tirelessly devoting myself to Dr. Google in continuing to evaluate my IF and adoption options. While I am pretty sure that we will be doing a donor cycle or something to that effect, I want to evaluate some of the adoption agencies so I'll be prepared in case it doesn't work out.

Around my birthday, I lauded this year as my lucky 33rd year. After the disappointment of this last negative IVF cycle, I feel like I have been adrift in knowing what to do next. And yet, there have been some really good things happening at the same time. FairyEgg's offer to help started this off. Now, another amazing offer has hit the table that might allow me to cycle in LA while staying with my family. While I don't have all the details yet, I'll be having a phone consultation with an RE out there on Thursday.

Stay tuned!


Sunday, November 1, 2009


I dared to join nablopomo today! This crazy word stands for National Blog Posting Month where people commit to blogging everyday. Blogging seems to keep me sane so it's not really a trial or anything to do so. It's kinda of neat finding all of these blogging enclaves that I had no idea about! So be warned, you're getting a lot of me this month!