Well...

This morning I woke up to be completely wide awake before the alarm went off. I read my emails and blogs then piddled around and threw my clothes on. The drive was foggy which is a lot of fun when I'm staring through my coke-bottle glasses. However we made it there to find out that I was the only patient in the ART center, so I would be the center of attention.

The same nurse A, managed to get my IV in after only two sticks which was great since they usually do it five times with my rolling veins. We sat and watched "Charmed" and ESPN while we waited for the time to roll around. Hubby got led off to the play room to do his part--my champ! Then off I went rolling in my hospital bed to the procedure room. I climbed on the big bed and went poof--right under into lala land.

I woke up with my dry mouth and immediately asked how many. "Five, all from the right side," hubby said.

I burst into tears. Sobbing. Curled up in a ball. *enter fuzzy fog--the rest of it filled in by hubby*

Apparently, I said to hubby that "I'm broke."

He tried to reason with me, cheer me up, pull out percentages.

Then Nurse A came in and saw me bawling. She said, "it only takes one." Then she went and got Dr. S.

Dr. S came in and told me that five was great for me and about about what he expected. He said other nice things which I can't remember, but did help me to be able to breathe again. He gave my hand a squeeze and left.

I'm sure that I'm over reacting. Everybody else seems happy about it but me (and SuperNurse S who said she almost cried when she found out). I don't get it. The difference between three eggs to five eggs is negligible. I'm hoping that these eggs are mature unlike last time and we will have some, if not more than one, to replace.

Hubby told me later that he wished I would stop beating myself up about my body being broken. That these things aren't my fault. That we will reassess our options if this doesn't work out--nothing is off the table. He is a good man. But he did torture me a little by making me go to Target on the way home to pick up some snacks and feminine things. I got to ride one of the electronic carts. hehe.

I wish this post was more eloquent but, I am just raw, teary, and discouraged. I'll let you know how the fertilization report goes tomorrow.

xoxo