Hold onto your panties, we're changing course!

Welcome to any ICLW readers! You can catch up on my details by scanning the right hand side boxes.

I must say that I was delusional to think I would feel like commenting during this month's round of ICLW. After my BFN on IVF#2, I'm not really in the frame of mind to leave comments. Well certainly not many comments that people would actually like to read!

Typically during my IF treatments, I knew what was coming next, or at least, what was coming after a BFN...the next IUI, waiting for cysts to vamos, waiting for my husband to come home from the sandbox, and then it was IVF and then IVF round 2, moving, blah, blah, blah. But if IVF#2 failed, I didn't really have a plan. I think that was the hardest part of yesterday. I couldn't just pick myself up and start planning the next treatment because I didn't know what it would be. And that, that is how I have gotten through these treatments without going crazy.

So what comes next?

When he called to tell us the news, Dr. Storment mentioned yesterday the next cycle would probably need to be donor eggs.  Hmmm.

Thought about it.
Talked to V about it.
For us, this is where we stood.

Donor Eggs: Pros -I would still get to carry the baby and the baby could have some of V's quirks(!). Cons: an extra 10k above the cost of in-vitro and still no guarantees.

So then I thought about embryo adoption. Pros: quick turnaround, lower cost, still get to carry the baby Cons: still no guarantees.

I put the money factor in because I like to be fiscally responsible. For me, I feel better about life if I work with the money I have instead of taking on debt. So any option we choose has to work within a budget. At the same time, what is the point of having money in the bank and no one crawling around on my living room floor? So appropriately for a Libra, I try to balance the financial aspect and the desire for a child.

So we contemplated all of this and decided we were done with all of the above.

Truthfully, I feel so relieved.

I probably won't feel as relieved in a few months when we're working on our homestudy. Yes, you heard me right. Hold on to your panties, we are headed towards adoption.

What it boiled down to was that we want to have a baby as soon as possible. With V having two steps into the forties, we want a path that's more definitive for us.

I think this is what is right for us.

I hope my blogger friends stay with me as we change courses. I still look forward to cheering you on through your treatments and through the many babies that are on the way. The adoption path is not easy, and I hope to have your support on it.

xoxo