Friday, October 16, 2009

**Warning** Couples Retreat

After writing my last post about how quickly the 2ww wait was passing quickly, it stopped moving quite so fast. Pretty much my goal has been to make it through the day without taking two naps. One is okay. Two is just lazy. So, since a girl has to keep busy, my honey and I went to go see the movie "Couples Retreat". 

Seeing the previews, I expected to laugh and enjoy myself completely. I did laugh a lot, but I also cried and I'm not really a movie crier. Why you ask? Without giving anything away, let me tell you. The one couple wants to go to the resort because they are thinking about getting divorced. Here's the best part. The reason they are considering it is because they have been in the infertile game for twelve months and it has taxed their marriage to the point where they don't have fun together anymore. Um yeah, that's a ball of laughs. Really. 

Part of the movie made me cry, simply because the pent up frustration and fears that I have had about infertility. A week or so ago, while we sat at Waffle House {nice and intimate place for this discussion}, I asked my hubby if he would ever leave me because of this. Yes, I was under the influence of hormonal drugs. At the same time though, this is certainly one of my fears. We got married later in life and I presume that part of the reason is because he wanted to have a family. So, I think this is a valid question.

He looked at me like I had grown two heads and said something to this effect:
He loved me.
He didn't marry my ovaries or my uterus.
He married me because he wanted a partner in life, someone to share it with.

One thing that I have always loved about my husband is that he takes his commitment to me seriously. He's had enough time to live the bachelor life and enjoy it, but now he wants (and has) more. I like a man who knows what he wants. And despite all the crap that we are going through, he wants me.

I think that infertility can break a relationship or help it to grow stronger. You certainly don't want it to grow stronger in this way, but the fact is that it can. I thank whatever higher power is out there that I have him in my life.  He makes me a better person. He's taught me how to stick and work through things together. Infertility is one of those things on our journey that is hard.

At the point, I would really love to go wherever the movie was filmed. I know it's not really cold here, but living in Louisiana has made me a complete wimp. I also have a complete lack of winter clothing except for the jackets {since I'm a jacket-wh-ore!}.

Keep warm wherever you are and be prepared if you go see this movie! Also thanks hope4joy and ASP for the lovely award. Love it!


  1. BTW, I convinced hubby to buy some prego tests. The biggest box was two. So I limited myself. Now, when to use them? {hahaha} Last time I didn't do it at all! I was too scared!

  2. Such a great post! I feel the same way you do--infertility is so hard, and definitely can make or break you as a couple. My husband was married before, went wild after his divorce, and was 32 when we got married, so I definitely feel like he had plenty of time to figure out what he wanted. On the other hand, I was a clueless 20-year-old when we got married. So infertility has been a real uphill battle for us, but one that I think has managed to bring us closer.

    You're in our prayers as you await the results of this cycle. When are you planning to test?

  3. I love my son-in-law! He is so good to my very funny daughter. Love you both much!!!

  4. Thank you! Love you too, Mom.

    I'm not sure when I'm going to test. Possibly Sunday and then Monday...I only have two tests!

  5. Here's to the amazing relationship that you and your husband share! It's so wonderful to read how infertility can bring people closer together - and not be the defining thing in their relationship.

    As for testing - my fingers are crossed for you!!!

  6. So in other words: Beware of leaking eyes at Couple Retreat!! Thanks for the warning. Your hubby sounds like such a sweetheart and I agree that sometimes this struggle can bring you closer. Nice to get a little sugar with these lemons :)
    I'm keeping fingers, toes, hair, everything crossed for you!

  7. POAS POAS!! :o) They are way expensive..I know what you mean!!

    What a great hubby...infertility definitely is a hard road...I'm not sure the scars ever completely go away. You found yourself a keeper..and I know you two won't end up like that couple on the movie!!!!!!!

  8. Isn't it nice that you have such a great husband? It makes a world of difference with all of the crap we have to endure with fertility treatments (and life, in general) . Ryan definitely makes me a stronger person and I'm so thankful that I have someone to stand by me through thick and thin. Sometimes I hate his rationality but it's definitely what's gotten us [me] through trying times.

    When is your beta? Hmmmm, and as far as POAS goes, be sure you use them when you know you can get a +. That way you're not wondering, "Well, maybe it was too early." You know the drill, gf. Crossing one set of fingers for you (because you know if you cross 2 sets of fingers, it's bad luck!) ;) Wives tales. Hugs.

  9. I know how sweet they guy is. He let me sleep in the bed instead of on the couch--even though he was only home for 2 weeks with you! What a gentleman...Miss you and sending fertile thoughts your way.

  10. Thank you for the warning about the movie. Think that I will wait to rent it so that I'm not leaking tears in the theater.

    I asked my hubs the same thing earlier in this infertility journey. His reaction was the same as your wonderful DH. Infertility sucks but having a loving, supportive and committed partner makes all the difference!

    Fingers crossed and saying prayers that you get your BFP. As for when to POAS, I would wait until AF is a day or so late. And you're doing good just having 2-currently there are 4 in our home :-p

  11. Okay, so many thoughts, where to start?

    1) Totally understand the fear of hubby leaving due to infertility - I HATE it that they could always find a younger, more fertile woman to knock up if we can produce - BUT it sounds like your hubby is madly in love with you, as he should be, and you have NOTHING to worry about!!! Nor do I! We're just a little IF-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs right now, right? Right.

    2) Re: winter clothes - I HIGHLY recommend tops and bottoms thermal underwear - I wear them all the time in the winter...under my pjs, under my jeans, they ARE the BEST! You need to keep your body nice and warm - it is your incubator, after all!

    3) When is your beta? As you know, mine is Friday...Are you really going to POAS tomorrow (Sunday)? I don't know what to do as I have no idea how many DPO I actually am!

  12. LMAO at "little IF-cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs!" Beta can be done on Tuesday...apparently the lab on post does them whenever, so I'm off when they open! Maybe?!?!?!

  13. Hello! You've been such a star with your supportive comments on my blog - thank you! Back when you first posted, I checked for a URL and didn't see one and so did not realize until today (when I checked again) how prolific you are! I read your blog from start to most recent and have tons of empathy for what you have been through... and excitement for where you are now. Did you test today, or are you waiting until the Beta Tuesday? I am very hopeful for you and your two transferred embryos! xoxo

  14. I just wanted to say thank you for warning me about this movie! I would probably have started crying in the theater like I did in "Up". I added your blog to my blog roll so I could easily return.
    Good luck with the TWW.