Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hold onto your panties, we're changing course!

Welcome to any ICLW readers! You can catch up on my details by scanning the right hand side boxes.

I must say that I was delusional to think I would feel like commenting during this month's round of ICLW. After my BFN on IVF#2, I'm not really in the frame of mind to leave comments. Well certainly not many comments that people would actually like to read!

Typically during my IF treatments, I knew what was coming next, or at least, what was coming after a BFN...the next IUI, waiting for cysts to vamos, waiting for my husband to come home from the sandbox, and then it was IVF and then IVF round 2, moving, blah, blah, blah. But if IVF#2 failed, I didn't really have a plan. I think that was the hardest part of yesterday. I couldn't just pick myself up and start planning the next treatment because I didn't know what it would be. And that, that is how I have gotten through these treatments without going crazy.

So what comes next?

When he called to tell us the news, Dr. Storment mentioned yesterday the next cycle would probably need to be donor eggs.  Hmmm.

Thought about it.
Talked to V about it.
For us, this is where we stood.

Donor Eggs: Pros -I would still get to carry the baby and the baby could have some of V's quirks(!). Cons: an extra 10k above the cost of in-vitro and still no guarantees.

So then I thought about embryo adoption. Pros: quick turnaround, lower cost, still get to carry the baby Cons: still no guarantees.

I put the money factor in because I like to be fiscally responsible. For me, I feel better about life if I work with the money I have instead of taking on debt. So any option we choose has to work within a budget. At the same time, what is the point of having money in the bank and no one crawling around on my living room floor? So appropriately for a Libra, I try to balance the financial aspect and the desire for a child.

So we contemplated all of this and decided we were done with all of the above.

Truthfully, I feel so relieved.

I probably won't feel as relieved in a few months when we're working on our homestudy. Yes, you heard me right. Hold on to your panties, we are headed towards adoption.

What it boiled down to was that we want to have a baby as soon as possible. With V having two steps into the forties, we want a path that's more definitive for us.

I think this is what is right for us.

I hope my blogger friends stay with me as we change courses. I still look forward to cheering you on through your treatments and through the many babies that are on the way. The adoption path is not easy, and I hope to have your support on it.

xoxo

26 comments:

  1. That is an incredibly big change in direction, but if you are at peace with the decision then it is the right one for you. Blessings on you as you make plans and move toward adoption.

    Btw... I love your blog background!

    ICLW

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  2. Thanks Mrs. G - Once we made the decision, I felt like everything is right where it should be. I'm very at peace with this and so is my hubby. :)

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  3. You know that I'm rooting for you no matter what direction you go. Will be following along eagerly as you embark on this new path and wish you all the very best on the adoption journey.

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  4. wow, that's a big decision to come to so quickly and its beyond fantastic that you both agreed that it is the next step for you two. congratulations on deciding your path to move forward!!! i wish you the best of luck in your adoption journey and we will all still be here rooting for you! and yippee for no more stinkin RE appointments!

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  5. I'm a so excited for you and happy that you have chosen to go down a different path. Honestly, I feel like this is the road we will be traveling down very, very shortly. I am so incredibly tired of the disappointment, the wondering if it will ever happen, the appointments, the canceling of my [our] life to make it to the RE's office 700 times a cycle. All for what? Nothing. I honestly don't know if another IVF is going to be for us or not at this point. I'm tired of doing this to my body. I've been going through the adoption info we have for different agencies, and at this point in the game, seems like the logical thing to be doing. Even if we have 2 IVF cycles left via insurance, there's no guarantee that we'll be bringing a baby home. Then what? We wasted a whole 4-5 months if we do back to back cycles. Maybe we'll be comparing adoption notes together? ;)

    Looking forward to your new journey!

    (((Hugs)))

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  6. What a fantastic journey to be on. From the tone of your e-mail this sounds like a great decision for you. I admire anyone that wants to adopt. Are you planning to adopt within the US or go overseas? You have to post more detail about this next step. I know you must be relieved to be off the IVF roller coaster.

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  7. Best wishes on your new journey! This is truly a big step to take. ICLW.

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  8. I am so excited for you girlfriend! I have a friend who adopted 2 girls from China and she once was kind enough to show me the video of the very first time she met her daughters. It was one of the most moving moments I've witnessed in my life. Can't wait to hear more!

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  9. ahhhhhh! what an exciting post!!!! i will be here for you through it all. :)

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  10. Actually that's amazing! I think we might be headed down that road here sooner then later. Our doctors appointment is tomorrow, so we shall see... I'm adopted, and so as an adopted child, I can tell you there is no better way to have children! I know I'm extra special because my parents wanted children SOOO bad, they did anything they could to get them!

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  11. I think your decision is absolutely amazing! Adoption is such an incredible, beautiful blessing for everyone involved. I've seen many couples truly touched by adoption.

    I think it's somewhere we'll be headed whether we ever conceive or not. I think, for us, that we figured we could try IVF while I'm still in my 20's (hubby is pushing 40).

    Good luck on this fabulous journey. I'm sure it will be hard, but I know it will be worth it. If you have questions, my friend Lindsey (therhouse.blogspot.com) is a total adoption guru.

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  12. I understand the tought decision. I wish you the best. We, also, are limited often as we refuse to take on anymore debt especially now that we are so close to being debt free. We are still deciding which way we are going to go when we get to the point where we have to choose.
    I look forward to hearing how the adoptin process works out for you.

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  13. This is very exciting -- I'm very happy that you and your husband have come to a decision that makes you both happy. Best of luck on this journey!

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  14. You definitely will have TONS of support! WOW!! Best of luck and enjoy the ride. Very exciting!

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  15. That is such great news!! Looking forward to hearing about your journey in this new direction and wish you the best of luck!!

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  16. Your adoption decision makes complete sense to me. I don't know how we women can tolerate all this IF disappointment month after month, and keep on keeping on.

    Good luck with your home study!!!

    ICLW

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  17. I don't blame you for feeling down. Definitely take your time to grieve and build yourself up to move forward with adoption (exciting!). Blogs will always be here and there will always be people to support you no matter which path your journey takes.

    Best wishes

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  18. I'm so sorry IVF#2 didn't work for you, but I'm very glad you have made a decision that works for you where to go next. Adoption is a wonderful path! I have an 8 year old niece who was adopted after my sister and BIL did many, many failed treatments. They decided adoption was the best path for them as well and we truly adore our R-Bug! She's such a blessing to us! The Hubs and I are still on the treatment path (well, once he's back in work), but if things fail to work for us, adoption will be where we turn. Good luck to you!

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  19. I will so totally be following your journey!!!!! What a wonderful wonderful decision you two have made..and I'm so happy that you are happy!!!

    It doesn't matter how your child grows...under your heart or in it....they're still yours!!! Looking forward to reading all about your new journey!!!!!!

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  20. Congratulations on your decision to adopt! I'm sure this is both very exciting and very overwhelming at the same time. I'm looking forward to following your new journey.
    -ICLW

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  21. This is so amazing, and I am so very excited for you guys! I am already looking forward to the journey with you and hope you share all of it with us. I am here to support you to the end!! xoxo

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  22. Congratulations on your new plan! I think it's absolutely wonderful.

    And don't feel weird about listing the financial apsects as part of your consideration. I think that is part of what will make you a very resposible parent.

    Best wishes with your new journey.

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  23. I applaud you for being so brave and wish you truckloads of luck with your adoption journey! While I am very sorry that IVF#2 didn't work, I think adoption is a wonderful to build your family.

    *ICLW

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  24. I'm happy that you are starting on a new path that will still fulfill your dreams of being a mommy! Best of luck to you both!

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  25. Good luck with your plans! I hope that whatever path you choose, you soon have a child of your own.

    ICLW

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