Friday, November 5, 2010

Dear Bessie and Bossie,

As someone who has known you your entire lives, I must say that I am quite disappointed in you. I know that you have been enduring constant sucking and pulling over the last month. I know that you have been poked and prodded by virtual strangers. I know that I have paraded you around the house in a most indiscrete manner. Hooooowever, my dears, this is no excuse for your behavior. Bleeding, swelling, cracking, going numb, turning white and most of all giving me mastitis twice is just uncalled for. So here's your notice, shape up and give me fracken break or there will be consequences. You know me, I don't bluff. So get yourselves in gear and quit complaining about your new status as a milk cow. This is your lot in life. Suck it up buttercups!

Love always,




  1. Ouch, you poor thing! Hope the girls heal fast and accept their new important role :)

  2. Sorry you are still in so much pain.

  3. You tell them! Shape up or ship out!!!!

  4. I am not laughing at your pain, I promise. LOL. But your humor about it is, well, humorous. Hang in there sweetie.

  5. Yikes! I remember breast feeding days. I am not sure what I did wrong...but I would stomp my feet because it hurt! My nipples were cracked, bleeding, scabbing...and then the infections. I stuck with it, though, and breast feeding finally became a dream!

    Hoping the war my nipples have been through will make the next breast feeding days easier!

    ps. 1 nipple will never look the same!

  6. ba ha ha ha!
    Bessie and Bossie better start behav'n themselves.
    Comedy aside, it sounds dreadfully painful. Hope your boobies stop hurting soon. x

  7. Slackers! What do they think you've been hauling them around for you whole life if not to be there when you need them, i.e. NOW.

  8. Hilarious post!! All breastfeeding mamas know all about this!