tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59952323948745988252024-03-14T00:23:17.338-08:00Knocked Up By Another Man....Knocked down by infertility.
Knocked up by my infertility doctor
with my best friend's eggs.
Hoping to get knocked up one more time...jenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.comBlogger469125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-59012382386540616032015-02-17T19:55:00.004-09:002015-02-17T19:55:53.696-09:00T-E-NI can hardly believe that my little peanuts<br />
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are already T - E - N months old!!!<br />
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The months have honestly slid by filled with days of happy smiles, poopy diapers, doctor's appointments and constant sleepless nights. On a usual night for me, until this week, I was waking up about five times a night with baby boy N while baby girl A snoozed away. However, we've finally had a string of nights that I've gotten at least four hours of uninterrupted sleep.<br />
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Baby girl rings in at the top of the chats weighing about 20 lbs. with everything hitting in the 95th percentile or above. Baby boy weighs about a pound less and hovers more between the 25 - 50th percentiles. He struggles more with breathing issues when he gets a cold and we've landed in the hospital twice because of this. However, overall they are both healthy and growing like weeds!<br />
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xxxjenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-51970708693862607772014-11-11T18:37:00.000-09:002014-11-11T18:37:13.122-09:00MY mom.Yesterday I was sitting on the couch in our living room pumping while the twins sat in their bouncy seats. With E and granny playing outside, I was enjoying a rare quiet moment. Then I heard a little voice by door leading in from the garage that wasn't my child's.<br />
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Anxiousness gripped me as I grabbed a pillow to block my scary nipples protruding from my pumping bra and my bare shoulders. I peeked around the pillow to see my son walk in with our neighbor's daughter (whom I don't know because they never come outside to play!)!!!!<br />
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He had a huge grin on his face and so proudly told her, "That's MY mom!" I was frantically figuring out how to get them to go back outside when granny came in to take them to the play room. She had figured it wouldn't be a big deal since she could just guide them around the hall to the playroom. When she told me this, I just kind of peered around the pillow and smiled.<br />
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While I sat there letting the adrenaline subside, I thought about what he said and how he said it. My son is so proud to have me as his mom. He wants to introduce me to his friends and wants me to join in on their games. He wants me to be on his team and come with him everywhere.<br />
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I know it won't last forever, but I'm really enjoying the heck out of it right now even if he's trying to expose me in pumping splendor to the world (or just a four year old neighbor).<br />
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xxxjenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-6534125530662933772014-10-21T19:54:00.002-08:002014-10-21T19:54:41.336-08:00My heart is full.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
It's been six months since these two munchkins came abruptly into the world. </div>
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They are such loves. It's hard to remember life before them even for E.</div>
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A is such a calm and chilled out kiddo. </div>
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N is a feisty and charming little man. </div>
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E turned four recently. He's such a sociable, smart, a funny kid. </div>
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I couldn't love any of them more if I tried.</div>
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xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-71034238140186217222014-09-15T20:57:00.001-08:002014-09-15T20:57:33.121-08:00Milk!One of the silver linings of the twins being in the NICU was the amazing lactation support I received.<br />
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On their second day of life, the twins started receiving breastmilk in extremely small doses. Every day as they gained weight, the amount increased as well. Despite all the factors working against me from the surgery, pain meds, and blood loss, my milk came in on day three. Of course I had woken up to a pump beside my bedside in the ICU and religiously pumped every three hours. However, I got super lucky and my milk supply quickly increased until I hit about 55 ounces about two weeks after their birth. Since then I vary between 50-60 ounces a day. Moo.<br />
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As the twins grew stronger, they began to attempt breastfeeding on my one visit a day to the NICU. Unlike my experience with attempting to nurse E, these twins were ravenous and would eagerly open their mouths and latch on. I was shocked. There was no pain or cracked nipples with the daily attempts. Lactation nurses would come whenever I asked and gave me good supportive information. Besides that, one of them literally walked me through the process of heat, pump, and ice to get through my initial engorgement.<br />
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After the madness of having mastitis four times and eventually being hospitalized while breastfeeding E, I'm amazed and grateful at the difference this time around. At five months in, I have a deep freezer full of milk and two growing babies.<br />
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xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-81359520674154984392014-09-08T21:47:00.000-08:002014-09-08T21:47:00.384-08:00Microblog Mondays: Meanest MomToday DS#1 was taking a bath and didn't want to get out when I started his five minute warning. After a few words and big splashing, I pulled the plug which infuriated him. He took his play cup and tossed it right on my shirt. My clean shirt. The shirt I had just put on along with real clothes and makeup. I literally saw red and after getting him out of the tub, I had to walk away.<br />
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So I walked back into the bathroom and bagged up all of his bath toys.<br />
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I am the meanest mom.<br />
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My son told me he was going to put me in time out and then have the doctors come and give me shots (the meanest thing he could think of). He even had a plan to get his granny to take him to the hospital to pick up the doctor and bring her back to our house. It's not nice to laugh but laugh I did.<br />
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xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-19009768211638912772014-09-04T20:21:00.000-08:002014-09-04T20:21:20.716-08:00NICU MemoriesThe days after having the twins are blurry to me now just as they were then. Between the physical recovery from the blood loss and c-section plus the lack of sleep from religiously pumping around the clock, the days just seemed to run into each other. Besides the joyous first moments of meeting and holding each twin, one memory stands out clearly.<br />
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I was watching my daughter A in her incubator as she lay under the purple billy lights. Her face was covered with her cpap holder and her eyes shielded with a little superhero mask. She was laying on her stomach and slightly moved her arm which popped her should blade up. Since she was weighing in at about three pounds at that point, there was literally only skin covering the bone.<br />
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The pang of sadness that struck my heart was intense and still makes my eyes water. I felt as if I had failed them by not keeping them safely tucked inside for a few more weeks. Quickly, I made myself push that thought away because I knew this would not help them in the slightest bit.<br />
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Yesterday when we went to see the developmental pediatrician, my sweet girl weighed in at 14 lbs 12 oz which put her at the 95th percentile for her adjusted age and in the 50th percentile for her non-adjusted age. I love her chubby cheeks and the rolls on her legs. They remind me of how far she's come and how grateful I am for that.<br />
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xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-40174748988675220042014-09-03T05:49:00.005-08:002014-09-03T05:49:58.136-08:00He's gone.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We've been through three years of deployments to combat zones while together. However, this year of an unaccompanied tour to the middle east is going to be the most brutal one yet because of the three children who own our hearts. I can deal with missing him myself, but helping E get through those feelings is different. I remind myself that E is resilient and will be just fine. We love this man.<br />
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xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-84097081472521026612014-09-02T18:41:00.000-08:002014-09-02T18:41:29.907-08:00MicrobloggingLife has pretty much been kicking my ass. I wake up in the wee hours of the morning to feed the twins. Sometimes that's their second feeding, but last last night the 4:30 feeding was their first! Happy dance for some sleep! Often times I will not get back to bed as I usually feed the twins one at a time and then pump. By that time, E will usually wake up and then, my day has officially started. I have a sad realization point every morning when I realize I won't be able to crawl back in bed. Between this and everything else going on in my life, I have no energy to get my thoughts down in this space. I miss my blogspace. <div>
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So today when I saw Mel's blog about <a href="http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2014/09/microblogmondays-1-ishiguro-for-chickens/" target="_blank">microblogging</a>, I felt a deep urge to not let time pass me by without writing something about it. While it's not Monday and this is far more than 140 characters. I'm going to try to get this going....:) </div>
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I miss you guys! </div>
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How are you?</div>
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xoxo</div>
jenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-1982827251977640302014-08-01T18:27:00.003-08:002014-08-01T18:27:34.605-08:00The Twins: The birth storyLike usual, I woke up to pee at some point during the early morning. Quickly though, the awareness of a gushing sensation hit and I leapt out of bed. That's pretty impressive since I had long since stopped leaping anywhere. I thought it was my water breaking but when I went to the bathroom I could see that it was blood. As it streamed down my legs, I heard a splat as a golf ball sized clot hit the floor.<br />
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It was about 5:45 am on the weekend, so I called out to my hubby who was dead asleep. Of course, his confused face made me smile but he quickly switched into go mode. He started to rush around and lamented that we hadn't gathered a bag together. I laughed and pulled out my already packed bag and listed off the last minute things we needed. My sister had arrived the night before for her spring break and was sleeping next door to E. This was handy as we quickly whispered to her that we had to go and then hubby ran down to the basement and told Granny.<br />
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I called the doctor's office immediately after I made it into the vehicle. With a forty minute drive, I knew that would be plenty of time to hear back from the doctor. The answering service said we'd hear back from the doctor within thirty minutes to find out if we should come in or not. I laughed and said we were on our way regardless. This time around, there was no way I would ever let someone dissuade me from getting checked out. While the on-call doctor was not mine, I had many friends who saw Dr. S and loved her. I breathed a sigh of relief that I wouldn't have to deal with the two who drove me a little crazy.<br />
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Since it was six in the morning on a weekend, there was nobody on the road. Hubby drove his typical 10 miles over the speed limit and didn't even yell at anyone until the last turn before the hospital where we were sitting at a red light with no one coming in either direction. The ride was pretty uneventful, but I tried to stay still so that the blood didn't leak out of the towel I had strategically placed. Hubby dropped me off at the door and then went to park. By the time I had gone about ten steps, he was already back and pulling out a wheelchair. I blew it off saying that it wasn't that far, but he insisted. It was a good thing too since it's much further when you're squeezing your legs together to keep the blood at a minimum. Yes, I was not entirely realistic....I can't imagine why. :)<br />
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The triage nurses were expecting us and took us to the tiny intake room. There wasn't much in my record for the nurse to find since my preadmission appointment was scheduled for the following Thursday. Whoops. She checked to see if the bloody flow was amniotic fluid but couldn't tell since there was so much blood. Pretty quickly, they went ahead and moved me to an antepartum room. The doctor came in almost immediately after and asked me if I was nervous. For once in my life, I honestly wasn't. From the beginning of the pregnancy, I knew this day was coming.<br />
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The nurse and the OB calmly and methodically checked us out. The OB took a look at the babies with an ultrasound machine. She examined the blood clot that I had wrapped in toilet paper and threw in a plastic baggie. The OB told me that I would be in the hospital from now until the babies came. She said this gently to me like I would be surprised or upset. I smiled and said, "I figured."<br />
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Next the perinatologist showed up and did another ultrasound which still showed the babies as doing fine. He explained that the bleeding could be a tear in my cerclage which is why they didn't want to put one in the first place. Alternatively, he indicated that the placenta could be detaching which he couldn't identify from the ultrasound. Meanwhile down below there was still blood slowly trickling out of me.<br />
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The OB and the peri talked back and forth about the cerclage and then decided to take it out. They propped me up on an upside down bedpan for a better angle which SUCKED. Between the pain and the nausea/dizziness from cutting off the blood flow from laying flat, I wanted to kick their asses. I swallowed the urge until they adjusted the speculum which caused what felt like a flap to extend in the wrong direction. I have no idea what it really was but it about made me come off the table. They finally ponied up and got the stitch out.<br />
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Afterwards, they rolled me on my side and started to check the babies again. The doctors were talking about keeping the sheet to weigh the blood to get a good estimate of my blood loss. It was then that I felt a huge clot slip out and then a huge gush of blood. I looked up at my hubby and he was staring at where the blood was flowing. He looked up and the doctors who were across the room, pointed towards the blood, and said this can't be normal. I felt terrible so I laid my head back down. By this point, the nurse who was working on the ultrasound finally got a read on the babies. This part is pretty blurry to me, but I remember the doctors talking, the babies' heartbeats dipping, and then the peri saying, "We need to go now." I glanced over my shoulder at my hubby and was already rolling out the door and into the OR.<br />
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The anesthesiologist started explaining to me that we didn't have time to do a spinal and would be putting me out as soon as everything was ready. People were piling into the room and several introduced themselves. The anesthesiologist kept talking to me explaining that each baby would have a team working on them. I laid there desperately wanting to be put out because I felt so bad and wanted it to be over. However, I knew they had to wait until the last minute so that the babies wouldn't be affected as much by the anesthesia. So I sucked it up and waited those horrible minutes staring at the ceiling. Finally they gave me the dose of medicine and it took longer than normal for me which gave me time to think about them cutting me open before it took effect. Awesome. I was pretty out of it at that point, but I remember thinking about the babies and having immense faith in the skill of the doctors. I was right about that.<br />
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Apparently it didn't go so well in the OR, and I woke up in the ICU.<br />
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While I was blissfully unaware of everything going on, my poor hubby was sitting out there waiting. After the peri had indicated that we needed to go, we were out of the room incredibly fast. The room emptied out and he was still standing there. He went to the door and a nurse came back to tell him that he couldn't go with me. Afterwards he told me that he realized he hadn't even had a chance to say anything to me before they whisked me away. He waited there until they had the babies out and then they had him wait by the elevators to go up to the NICU with them.<br />
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The next day, the doctors told me what happened. Over the course of a few days I heard a couple of different perspectives from the OB, the peri, the anesthesiologist, and later on a NICU nurse. I kept asking because I felt a need to reconstruct their emergence into the world since I missed it...<br />
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Neither baby was that easy to get out, however baby boy N was first and not as difficult as his sister A. By the time they managed to extricate her, the anesthesia had reached her, and she didn't wake up until hours later. One of the NICU nurses who was there told me they were just standing there waiting and praying for her. The kids were rolled outside the OR where hubby first got to see them and accompany them to the NICU. N only required a CPAP for breathing while A needed to be on a ventilator. N and A weighed in at a whopping 3 lb 7 oz and 3 lb 4 oz respectively. The kids were both stable so hubby snapped some pictures and headed back down to wait for me.<br />
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When the NICU nurses were rolling out of the room and avoiding the blood pools on the floor, the OB and the peri hollered for them to call another doctor in to help with me. I was hemorrhaging, and they could not figure out where it was all coming from. They were checking both where the placenta had abrupted and around my cervix. In an average c-section, a woman will lose about 1000 cc of blood. For me before the c-section, I had lost approximately 1400 cc and then lost another 1600 cc during the surgery. My blood pressure kept bottoming out and they ended up transfusing four units of blood. They finally stopped the bleeding right before they were about to move on to a hystrectomy. <br />
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When I talked to the OB the next day, I asked her if my experience was normal. She literally looked ill when she thought back to it. The look on her face was repeated between the different professionals that I had explain to me what happened. The OB and the NICU nurse were the most frank about it. Quite simply, it was bad. They thought they were going to lose me.<br />
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But, they didn't.<br />
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While I feel a bit like a drama queen saying this, the reality that I could have died and left my three children without their mother just rocked me. I've never in my whole life been so grateful to the medical professionals who took care of us. While I would never plan to have a delivery like this, I don't care about anything other than the fact that they saved us.<br />
<br />
When I woke up in the ICU later that day, I felt pretty darn good. Most of the doctors and nurses seemed surprised that I rebounded so well despite everything. After the 24 hours that I was stuck in the ICU, I happily moved to maternity and was able to go right up to the NICU to finally meet the kids. Then later that night I was able to hold both of them during their feedings. It was amazing to finally hold my sweet babies.<br />
<br />
Thanks for your patience with me getting the story out.<br />
<br />
Love.<br />
<br />
xxx<br />
<br />
<br />jenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-11015585260576775482014-05-11T19:11:00.000-08:002014-05-11T19:11:04.558-08:005 WeeksIt's been a crazy five weeks since the twins have been born. I'm still working on the birth story. However it's a slow go since most days I fall into bed and promptly pass out. My days are filled with trying to balance driving an hour to the NICU, visiting and feeding the twins, spending time with E, and pumping. The good news is that the twins are doing fabulously and have made forward progress throughout their stay. I'd appreciate your thoughts and prayers being sent their way that this continues.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3ELrK6ic_rVi8q5nK2NtmUy7vY4icreYly6FGUfHtyufQ5S0JKug1-7AccwNeT8ydC0qZdsUvyTB_eXY7-tupUMqlX5oibNotuE62wjPWNINnnVWndsqkBv0K9vmzexl3y4GjjEF0vRbw/s1600/IMG_7083.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3ELrK6ic_rVi8q5nK2NtmUy7vY4icreYly6FGUfHtyufQ5S0JKug1-7AccwNeT8ydC0qZdsUvyTB_eXY7-tupUMqlX5oibNotuE62wjPWNINnnVWndsqkBv0K9vmzexl3y4GjjEF0vRbw/s1600/IMG_7083.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Baby Boy weighs 5 lb 4 oz today!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFia88IBs43gcNiuCK0jaJx22iZJwdxsBsoxm8p0ID_gYpJYYoUfKSaq6fB6b-lejAxW8AfS0aanW1hqyZJ6h3lw1EqGPEoVMvnhXd1sHPwrCwNVDKTmYeeJmbdRRUPkKvGGqAR1794V2q/s1600/IMG_7089.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFia88IBs43gcNiuCK0jaJx22iZJwdxsBsoxm8p0ID_gYpJYYoUfKSaq6fB6b-lejAxW8AfS0aanW1hqyZJ6h3lw1EqGPEoVMvnhXd1sHPwrCwNVDKTmYeeJmbdRRUPkKvGGqAR1794V2q/s1600/IMG_7089.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Baby Girl weighs 5 lb 2 oz today!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />xxx<br /><br />jenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-90934137753669300982014-04-10T18:57:00.000-08:002014-04-10T18:57:11.920-08:00They're hereThe twins are here!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-8uDp35eBac9PPu-jSwvbbmeZZX1IVDywxU3s7SunV-rO9g42HnfP_ny0rGi5d5Zm1tY4hf7h1JBNM785PtrGvy_QiQgHNQxWFcak5a4NEImSFSzjx8pY84GH8go__OwUJtJuhIjV5vtJ/s1600/IMG_6513.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-8uDp35eBac9PPu-jSwvbbmeZZX1IVDywxU3s7SunV-rO9g42HnfP_ny0rGi5d5Zm1tY4hf7h1JBNM785PtrGvy_QiQgHNQxWFcak5a4NEImSFSzjx8pY84GH8go__OwUJtJuhIjV5vtJ/s1600/IMG_6513.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ni.ko 3 lb 7 oz</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv1fQ1u4zlNSv1UmJvl5A9bj7Bf869k9FJ50qp8l7aIgLP3s4HcvCCaXsJ7XIUWNyw0UiBzuqoauquIV_8kihxm7dx05xOr2DmkGOkaOdRVnybqzmlQS6VkqhlWYe1GQo7EmbexzryqK8Z/s1600/IMG_6514.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv1fQ1u4zlNSv1UmJvl5A9bj7Bf869k9FJ50qp8l7aIgLP3s4HcvCCaXsJ7XIUWNyw0UiBzuqoauquIV_8kihxm7dx05xOr2DmkGOkaOdRVnybqzmlQS6VkqhlWYe1GQo7EmbexzryqK8Z/s1600/IMG_6514.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ar.ya 3 lb 4 oz</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
While they arrived early at 31 weeks + 3 days, they're doing really well in the NICU. Right now, I'm just grateful that we all made it and are okay. The birth story will be coming as soon as I can manage it.<br />
<br />
Love.<br />
<br />
xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-78204372064573383782014-03-20T19:48:00.000-08:002014-03-20T19:48:10.188-08:00Another big weight...Besides the news of the <a href="http://jenicini.blogspot.com/2014/03/whats-next.html" target="_blank">unaccompanied tour</a> for next year, the other crappy news that hit us right before Christmas break that my hubby will be reviewed for forced retirement as the government reduces the overall level of the Army. You can read more about it <a href="http://www.armytimes.com/article/20131216/NEWS/312160021/Army-will-cut-almost-2-000-captains-majors" target="_blank">here</a> or <a href="http://www.armytimes.com/article/20131216/NEWS/312160021/Army-will-cut-almost-2-000-captains-majors" target="_blank">here</a>, but I'll sum it up for you based upon what I understand.<br />
<br />
Essentially, the military needs to reduce the number of captains and majors because the size of the army force as a whole is being shrunk. Over the past few years, they have been working on natural attrition by tightening up enforcement of regulations that had been more relaxed since the wars demanded so many soldiers. However, now they are looking to reduce further to fit the numbers mandated by congress.<br />
<br />
As such, they are reviewing the files of about 19,000 captains and majors to reduce numbers between 5-18%. There are many subcategories based upon when you were on the promotion list (year group) and your job (MOS) which accounts for the variance of the 5-18%. Besides this, if the soldier has under 18 years of service, the soldier will be reviewed by one board or group for Early Separation with essentially a severance package. If the soldier has served 18 years, they will be reviewed by the Enhanced Selective Retirement Board for retirement.<br />
<br />
Each board will review the files of individual service members which includes a summary of all awards, jobs held, deployments, picture, etc; all of their performance reviews starting four years after their initial enlistment, and anything in their regular or closed files which can include letters of reprimand, arrest records, etc. The boards will meet in March and April, and then notify the affected soldiers in August. There's no appeal process.<br />
<br />
For the school we are at right now, of the 1400 soldiers attending in my husband's class almost every soldier is under consideration for this. Can you imagine the shit-storm as this news hit the families right before Christmas break? Yeah, it was great.<br />
<br />
My hubby is part of the second category since he already has over twenty years of military service. So while it would suck for him to lose his job, he'd still be able to collect his retirement. We'd just be in a much different place than what we have planned. Again, with two more kiddos joining our family, it's just not ideal. We've definitely got a few things going for us with however the situation plays out.<br />
<br />
A) Hubby is a workhorse. He has great reviews and a squeaky clean record. He was counseled that his risk is low.<br />
B) I've been preparing for his retirement and should be able to land a much higher paying (and demanding) job if needed.<br />
<br />
The most frustrating things about this process is that we have no idea really what the board will target. Arrest records? Evaluations? Looks? Time in?<br />
<br />
When all of the deployment/unaccompanied tour crap hit us, this had already been percolating in our minds. At first I felt incredibly anxious and angry.<br />
<br />
However, now I've adjusted. If it happens, we'll adjust our plans just as we always do. Who is to say that it won't work out better in the long run anyway!<br />
<br />
xxx<br />
<br />jenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-79652924112203849152014-03-19T18:34:00.000-08:002014-03-19T18:38:42.720-08:00What's next...Our move from Alaska to Kansas last June was for the sole purpose of my husband attending a year long school. We knew going into it that we would be moving this following June to our next duty station which for the Army is typically for a period of two to four years. The school itself is a lot different from most Army trainings in that it's essentially a year of college. In fact most service members take additional classes in conjunction with this school to earn a master's degree. The leadership repeats that "this is the best year of your life." This makes most of the spouses smirk as in reality they don't see the service member much. I've lucked out in that my hubby a) is a good student b) is a non-procrastinator and c) already has a masters, so I get lots of family time. Not everybody gets to attend the school, so it's a prestigious training to have within the Army.<br />
<br />
A big high point for the year is receiving the potential list of duty stations for our follow on assignments. Because let's face it, finding out you could traipse around Europe, lounge around in Hawaii, or live in Okinawa for a few years is just cool. So everybody gets excited and talks about how they ranked their list (specific to each job). Then we wait between two weeks and six months to find out.<br />
<br />
When we received our list, the branch manager specifically included that soldiers with dwell times (time at home between deployments) over certain amounts <i>would</i> or <i>be</i> <i>likely to</i> deploy. My hubby fit into the <i>would be</i> deploying category. So while there were some fun sounding locations, we chose to prioritize the direct deployments rather than to roll the dice and land in a new location where hubby would deploy soon after. Well, we got our wish. Hubby leaves this summer for the middle east for twelve months.<br />
<br />
Of course, I'm not very excited about this.<br />
<br />
The reason that hubby has a higher dwell time than others is because in a six year time period, he did three twelve month deployments. He deployed, came home for four months, deployed, came home for two years, and deployed again. In comparison, I had neighbors who deployed one time during the same period. When it came to our next assignment, they sent us to Alaska because he had deployed so much compared to his peers. While we watched soldiers duck and dodge to get out of deployments, he never flinched from his responsibility. I sucked it up and made it through those years pretty much without complaint.<br />
<br />
This time I feel differently.<br />
<br />
There are a couple of reasons I feel this way:<br />
1) Several of the people who I know fit into the same dwell time category as us are not deploying.<br />
2) Many of the financial advantages of deployments are going away, in fact now his area will be an unaccompanied tour versus a deployment.<br />
3) I'm going to have newborn twins.<br />
4) I have a three year old.<br />
<br />
I had a family member who told me congratulations on getting our first choice. Honestly, I was shocked that they would say this. This is not good news, this was us trying to have a little control over our lives.<br />
<br />
Now that everything has shaken out, I feel like we got jacked. It makes me a little bitter. It makes me sad that hubby is going to miss the first year of the twins lives. I know it's going to break my heart to see E deal with this.<br />
<br />
I've always been supportive of my husband's career, and I will continue to be. However, it's taken me this long to even write about it without feeling emotionally compromised by putting the words down here. It will take me a little while longer until I'm not mad at the situation.<br />
<br />
Honestly, most of me feels like I shouldn't feel this way. I even feel a little disloyal for putting this out there because I should be more accepting of our reality. I shouldn't compare our situation. I should suck it up like a good Army spouse. My hubby certainly isn't complaining about it. I'm just not quite there yet.<br />
<br />
xxx<br />
<br />jenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-1902654947665187542014-03-18T18:43:00.001-08:002014-03-18T18:43:25.719-08:00I'm 28 weeks 4 days today.<br />
<br />
Ticking along.<br />
<br />
Still preggo.<br />
<br />
Baby A, my yet unnamed boy, is estimated at 2 lb 7 oz.<br />
Baby B, my girl who will probably never get a name, is estimated at 2 lb 8 oz.<br />
It's sweet how they're already sharing by using the resources equally. Yay!<br />
<br />
As of today, I've gained 25 lb with a belly measurement of 41 weeks.<br />
<br />
I've slowed down tremendously over the last few weeks as I get larger and more tired doing normal things. If my mom wasn't here, I'd be seriously up a creek. But instead, I still have a clean house, good meals, help with all my errands, and I get naps every afternoon.<br />
<br />
I'm a lucky girl. Now stay in there babies!<br />
<br />
xxxjenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-30198149096959889232014-01-31T17:11:00.000-09:002014-01-31T17:11:09.454-09:0022 weeksIt's official. Today I reached the point in my pregnancy where I officially feel like a cow. I think that's pretty funny since I'm only 22 weeks along. The doc measured me yesterday at 32 weeks, and I have gained between 16-18 lb depending on the day. After measuring me, my not regular doctor said, "Wow, that's big." I really wanted to say something sarcastic too him, but I refrained.<br />
<br />
Since getting my cerclage, I have been ticking along day by day doing normal things. With my mother here to help, I've been getting in some naps and generally able to take it easy. I'm completely pampered with certain parts of life in that she has taken over the majority of cleaning and cooking. Her presence has certainly made it easier for me and E loves having her here.<br />
<br />
Some other traumatic and plot twist worthy events have occurred too, but I haven't the emotional wherewithal to write about it yet.<br />
<br />
The best news going on in our lives is that E is growing like a weed and the anatomy scan showed the babies are healthy. E's pretty excited that he'll have both a brother and a sister to play with...<br />
<br />
xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-66847251372076419352013-12-11T06:08:00.006-09:002013-12-11T06:08:59.118-09:00BetterWith most of my crying jag behind me, I'm feeling a ton better about everything. Part of me thinks I just needed to get it out, some of it's situational, and the other part is <a href="http://jenicini.blogspot.com/2010/01/other-thing-to-deal-with.html" target="_blank">depression</a>.<br />
<br />
When I got pregnant with the twins, I went off my meds that I take for depression because they're Class C drugs. There has definitely been an adjustment to life without them as I went cold turkey which is not recommended. The first two weeks were the worst as I felt like a huge witch. Within a few weeks, I evened out and was more focused on not hurling than anything. Now ten weeks later, I can tell there are differences in myself when it comes to being more quick to anger, not feeling social and also the crying jag that ensued on Monday.<br />
<br />
The next morning after I wrote my post, I called my doctor and told him he needed to reschedule the cerclage for next week. The nurse who called passed along that my doctor thought it was really important to do it this week while I was still fourteen weeks. I burst into tears on the phone, telling her that we just didn't have enough coverage for my son. They understood, and rescheduled me for Monday morning which is four days later. I called and got my mom to change her flight. Now we should be golden.<br />
<br />
However, what really ticks me off is that I've been pushing my doctors on this issue since the first time I saw them at six weeks. I get that they don't have all of the answers in a pregnancy like mine that is complicated by history, not enough research, and twins, however changing their minds and then insisting I get it done in two days is a little much. That's why I had the discussions with them every appointment since the beginning! If I had known it would be a possibility, I would have arranged for my parents to come earlier.<br />
<br />
Thankfully my parents are wonderful, wonderful people. Between my mother and my father, they plan on one of them being here pretty much from now through the time that I deliver and beyond if the twins are in the NICU. This was something we discussed with them before we decided to go ahead and try this time around. I'm so grateful that they can do this for us.<br />
<br />
Thanks for your support peeps.<br />
<br />
xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-85099735971891564792013-12-09T19:12:00.001-09:002013-12-09T19:12:06.021-09:00FearTonight I'm just a mess of tears.<br />
<br />
Really it's not surprising that trying to figure out the logistics for having my cerclage done in two days sent me over the edge. Because in reality, there are a lot of things about this pregnancy that scare the crap out of me.<br />
<br />
When I first found out I was possibly pregnant with twins, I had little expectation that the one empty sac would develop like the other sac in my uterus that had a small flicker of a heartbeat. Yet at eight weeks, both sacs showed healthy heartbeats with one measuring just two days behind the other which explained the empty sac during the first ultrasound.<br />
<br />
The doctor did not congratulate me or smile like you would imagine. Instead he looked at me grimly and said, well this is going to be complicated. That comment pretty much set the tone for the onslaught of fear that ensued over the next three weeks. While I continued to be happy that I was pregnant, I feared the reality of carrying a twin pregnancy to term. And then, how the hell was I going to handle twins and a rowdy three year old? I wanted them, but I was very afraid. When you added in hurling and constant nausea, I was just a hot mess.<br />
<br />
Things began to change for me once I talked to IVFlygirl. After all, she has two beautiful kiddos with the same genetics who were awesome babies and now toddlers. Along with my husband, she was the biggest influence on the calming of my fears on how I could handle adding twins to our family.<br />
<br />
Between the regular OB and the perinatologists, I have had doctors appointments every other week of my pregnancy. Over this time I have had multiple discussions with both of them about having a cerclage placed. Because I am carrying twins, placing a preventative cerclage is different than a singleton. Essentially, the studies show that women with emergency cerclages in a multiple pregnancy fair worse than those without cerclages. The problem is that there is not data on cerclages with multiples which are preventative not emergent. After a lunch discussion between both doctors this week, they decided that they would offer me a cerclage. The perinatologist leans about 60/40 towards me getting a cerclage based upon my complicated past and current complex case. My husband and I decided to go ahead and proceed with a cerclage as this is what our gut has been telling us all along.<br />
<br />
My OB called me on the way home and has already scheduled me for the procedure on Thursday. Of course, having a three year old and no family around makes it slightly complicated for me to arrange childcare on short notice. My husband can not simply take a day off to help because of the military school he is attending. So I called people and figured most everything out until I realized E's Christmas program is on Friday. It's a small event in his classroom however I imagine him standing there looking around since he will be the only one without parents present. That image made me burst into tears. I haven't really stopped crying since.<br />
<br />
Obviously, it's not just the fifteen minute program. It's my fear that I won't be able to carry these twins safely.<br />
<br />
xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-34727701910012319582013-12-02T18:14:00.001-09:002013-12-02T18:14:51.365-09:00Surprise! <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0mfwKDv-Ven0HLZPIWf5Sti3YviSFE3Frd_hW3piQlv5oEqfkBS_M-yk0JNNsXhA4keFwoo4jvtSoLisE9fzXiRgl5nbCahKITnwDz0wp4L6Pmt_koDBYqIQby8JVnU7S2kWLfhKRlE3o/s1600/IMG_5438.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0mfwKDv-Ven0HLZPIWf5Sti3YviSFE3Frd_hW3piQlv5oEqfkBS_M-yk0JNNsXhA4keFwoo4jvtSoLisE9fzXiRgl5nbCahKITnwDz0wp4L6Pmt_koDBYqIQby8JVnU7S2kWLfhKRlE3o/s320/IMG_5438.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Waiting for his muffins to bake. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMkyZnFMnXD5xKUUK4bshd-wecDne6Yo6qe1S_-PYNL_jh6p1wRDKJChpWKfzEd-c471QO99gz3zdtlTYrvLfQmxPiATVT_gD6ClCK3tkO2pdhClEC6p5DQlCzc-hg6Wqj-LHbm3TsxvBh/s1600/IMG_5444.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMkyZnFMnXD5xKUUK4bshd-wecDne6Yo6qe1S_-PYNL_jh6p1wRDKJChpWKfzEd-c471QO99gz3zdtlTYrvLfQmxPiATVT_gD6ClCK3tkO2pdhClEC6p5DQlCzc-hg6Wqj-LHbm3TsxvBh/s320/IMG_5444.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two muffins in the oven.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yep, I'm having twins.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
xoxo</div>
jenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-91277826710532340192013-11-15T17:52:00.001-09:002013-11-15T17:52:27.692-09:00Somewhere in the midst of being excited and hopeful to have another child, I forgot that beyond the cervix and early labor issues, I am a terrible pregnant woman.<br />
<br />
Ever since week six, I have been plagued with nausea and exhaustion. Believe me, I know that these are typical symptoms that the majority of women go through. Yet, other women seem to do it with grace while I am just a hot mess of a mom.<br />
<br />
Somewhere along the way, the pregnancy hormones have caused my hair to start sticking up oddly where I have two cowlicks. These cowlicks were meticulously trained by my mother to behave since I was a kid. So imagine my surprise when they started sticking virtually straight up.<br />
<br />
These two little hair gems add to my overall mom look that I sport of yoga pants and maternity tees that I toss on in the morning to take E to preschool twice a week.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, there are literally a ton of military wives who are knocked up right now. I'm assuming the conventional way since most of them are due in April which coincidentally aligns for the in processing period for the school when there was a ton of down time. These moms, make it look easy. I think they even manage to do things like brush their hair and teeth.<br />
<br />
I count it a victory when I'm not dry heaving on the way home from dropping him off. Then I plod into the house and promptly lay down. Exhausted and usually nauseous.<br />
<br />
How do people do this!?!?!?<br />
<br />
I'm so grateful that I'm pregnant, but seriously I suck at this!<br />
<br />
xxxjenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-54265503504091001952013-10-03T16:59:00.002-08:002013-10-03T16:59:31.247-08:00threeDear E,<br />
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Today you turned three.<br />
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Every day you crack me up. One day you told me while watching "Monsters v Aliens" that they should go not to Fresno, but to Fresyes. Today when I asked you to say "Mommy is right!" (because of course your dad I were debating some nonsense), you said, "Mommyz left!" These are the prime examples of how you know exactly what you are talking about but feel the need to be a little different.<br />
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Some days I feel a little bonkers trying to deal with your independence that insists you can cross giant parking lots by yourself. Other times your wiggleworm hand tries to squirm desperately out from holding my hand. You also think that running away from me in stores is funny.<br />
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When you run, I feel this squeeze in my chest from the adorableness that is you. You have sturdy legs and a really broad chest and trunk. Your run still has a bit of the toddler bobble that is priceless. You run with determination while you pump your arms and look straight at your target. Running isn't the only thing you do either. Whenever, there is music on you are always bopping along or do a full body groove. Every rock and curb is a chance to jump and balance on. Every cushion is a place to flop or bounce on. You just love to move.<br />
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Almost every day, you ask if we can go to the P-R-K. Apparently, I've spelled it so many times to daddy, that you have almost learned how to spell it yourself. Occasionally, you also throw in some other random letters which isn't surprising since we have a lot of acronyms in our Army lives: CGSOC, PCS, PX...<br />
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When we arrive at the park, you will usually find some little boy or girl to run around with. By the time we leave, I usually have to pry your hands apart since you love to grab their hands and run around. This really isn't limited to kids either as you often will go grab other moms by the hand and get them to join us in playing. As a side-note, you usually hit the blond moms first. Just saying. I love this about you though. I think you believe that everything is more fun with friends around.<br />
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Besides these things, this year you started: throwing and catching kisses while facetiming with auntie, granny and papa, riding a tricycle, and saying I love you to all of the people who catch your heart. You also started to call me a princess when I wear a skirt or dress up. You miss your daddy fiercely while he is at work and often ask me to call him.<br />
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When you were born, I felt like my heart expanded in a way that I didn't know was possible. Every day since then, you make it warm with love and laughter all mixed in with you being a crazy, goofy, all-boy toddler.<br />
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I love you turkey.<br />
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Mommy<br />
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xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-31439693968806440072013-09-27T10:24:00.001-08:002013-09-27T10:24:32.441-08:00Early BETASince I can't take my BETA tomorrow because the Army hospital is closed, my doc let me take it today at 9dp5dt.<br />
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And.....<br />
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It's 122!<br />
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I'm pregnant!!!<br />
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xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-83251417893225739882013-09-18T22:50:00.002-08:002013-09-18T22:50:39.711-08:00Two embiesTwo embies were very gently transferred to my uterus this afternoon.<br />
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Cue cheers and cartwheels!<br />
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Of course, I experienced the typical pleasures of an FET such as the ultrasound pushing down on my full bladder. However, the funniest part was that you can definitely tell this isn't my first rodeo. In the few minutes between getting prepped and waiting for my embryos, the doc and I sat there chatting amiably despite the fact that my feet were up in the stirrups and my goods were exposed. Good times!<br />
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I'm optimistic and hopeful!<br />
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Beta is 9/28.<br />
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xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-18590535300839782182013-09-13T14:56:00.001-08:002013-09-13T14:56:10.152-08:00Sigh of ReliefThursday we flew out to California. I am thankful that my flight time was only three hours versus six from Alaska! It was such a piece of cake and my boy was a champ.<br />
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It took two hours to trek across LA to get to my doctor's office this morning. Let me tell you, I do not miss LA traffic! My dad was completely sweet and drove me so that I didn't have to deal with it all myself.<br />
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I pressed the elevator button for my doctor's office and had to double check that I had the right floor because he's redecorated since I last cycled.<br />
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It kind of reminds me of a boudoir, but heck, I can deal with that.<br />
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The best news was that my lining was a 12.5 despite the fact that I've been lightly bleeding for the last SIX days! I've been so freaked out about it, I think I've been more physically stressed than in any prior cycle. I *think* today it finally stopped. If not, the progesterone will probably take care of it tonight when I take my first shot.<br />
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So.....yay!<br />
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xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-64853439220168316212013-09-10T16:48:00.004-08:002013-09-10T16:48:50.642-08:00Still on...Thankfully we are still on with this cycle for now...<div>
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The plan is to head out to California and have the doc check out my lining as scheduled. If the bleeding has impacted my lining severely, we'll wait a week to allow it to get up to snuff. I generally have a nice plush triple-striped lining, so I'm hoping that my normal extra will give me some cushioning with what I might have lost. </div>
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Who knows? Maybe this will help in the long run?!?!</div>
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Off to start packing now...or maybe go get some chocolate ice cream and pack tomorrow. :D</div>
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xoxo</div>
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jenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5995232394874598825.post-26802333400593053602013-09-09T15:36:00.001-08:002013-09-09T15:36:20.119-08:00So yesterday afternoon, I started bleeding. Since I'm ten days away from my embryo transfer, this really shouldn't have happened.<br />
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I emailed my doctor this morning and received a response this afternoon saying we should postpone my cycle.<br />
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All I can think is WTF! WTF! WTF!<br />
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Classy, I know.<br />
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I'm annoyed at my body.<br />
I'm annoyed that I'm going to have to spend more money to change plane tickets.<br />
I'm annoyed that I have to wait.<br />
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Rawr!<br />
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xoxojenicinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16361606793108116475noreply@blogger.com5