Last night I asked FairyEggs to take a stab at writing a guest post for the blog. For any of you ICLWers, FairyEggs is one of my best friends who will be our donor for our cycle in January. I love her dearly and thought it would be fun for you to get a little perspective from her. Without further ado, I give you my very own personal fairy godmother!
Well, I am FairyEggs….I am not as eloquent as J, but want her to have a baby almost as badly as she does. I feel like this journey has been going on for a very long time for her, all the while I am complaining and whining about my three healthy, beautiful kids to her. After the last negative test I just sat on my couch and cried for her. Would she ever know the feeling of holding her child in her arms? Was there anything I could do for her? I had already offered to be a surrogate for her. But obviously that wasn’t the problem. My husband wasn’t thrilled about the idea that I would be pregnant with someone else’s child, but he was supportive because he knew how much it meant to me. Then the idea of donor eggs came up while I was talking to her. I immediately told her I wish that I could help her, but I just didn’t think I could know a biological child of mine was out there.
I got off of the phone and talked to my husband who shocked the heck out me. He said he would rather me give my eggs to J than for me to carry her child because you don’t bond with eggs! He said that I wasn’t using them anymore, so I might as well give them to her. I thought on that for a while and then realized that I would give her a kidney, so why not my eggs! Either way it is just sharing a little DNA. The fact of the matter is DNA doesn’t make you a parent. It is purely a vehicle with which you make a baby (a beautiful one if I might add). I thought and thought about it. I was awake most of the night thinking about it and then came to the conclusion that there was no way I COULDN’T do it. It took everything I had to not call her at 7 am and tell her. I had to wait until I got off work at 1 pm to give her the good news.
J is the very best friend I have ever had in my life. She is right there with my husband, mother and sister. I wish we could live next door to each other and complain about our husbands and kids while we drink coffee (or Diet Coke) together. We may not be around each other everyday, but she is a part of my daily life.
Isn't she great? Love her!