What to say?

I don't even know what to title this post. I'm a little mixed up right now between sadness, love, and a tiny bit of hope. As you know, my egg retrieval was this morning. We left the house at 4:45 am and checked in at 7:15 am. The procedure took place at about 8:45 am. They wheeled me into the operating room and had me get out and climb on the massively high table via a stool. Then of course I had to "assume the position, lassie!" except these stirrups allowed my whole calf to be supported. Pretty darn comfortable if I must say so myself. The room had that dim light from the overhead movable light that was made even more creepy from the fact that I can not see a blasted thing without my glasses. This means I have blobs running through my field of vision.

Apparently there was a point in the procedure where the room got pretty quiet when they found just three eggs in my follicles. Three. Actually two mature eggs and one that's on the cusp is what they found. I guess it affects Dr. S too when he sees something not go so great happen. There should have been around thirteen eggs including the immature eggs, but the follicles were just empty. Empty. That's pretty much how I'm feeling now too.

Dr. S came back around a second time to check on me and talk to me since the news wasn't so great. I really love working with him and his office because he makes to the extra visit when needed. When he left, I had three tears roll down my face. But now as I write this listening to Faith and Tim sing "I Need You", the tears have started their path down my face. It just sucks.

And now I have to move on from my pity party so that I can focus on what I do have. I do have at least two eggs that could be fertilized. As Dr. S and the embryologist told me, all it takes is one good one. So raise your glasses tonight and hope the sperm and eggs have a little party in the petri dish tonight. They have a little matchmaking help since we are doing ICSI, where they take a pipette and put the sperm directly into the egg. Party hard tonight! Do it on the first night! Don't use protection! LOL. At least I can laugh, right?

For now, I'm going to rest and wait for the embryologist to call tomorrow to let me know how they fertilize....

xoxo

Note to self: bring socks next time. Brr.