Friday, August 14, 2009


Like everyone else who has to wait to let nature take its course, the 2ww is officially getting to me. I woke up at 3 am to Sweetpea whining to be let out. Of course, this led me to be awake for a good hour. My thoughts of babies, moving, my family, my husband, and my career (not in that particular order) kept bonging through my head. Not swirling, bonging.

First, I have to sleep three more times before my first beta. Ick. I have allowed myself to hope that I might actually be pregnant. But, it's more likely that I am not. If I'm not, I guess I have to get my behind in gear and start getting ready for the move and go back to the gym to lose some weight before my next IVF cycle.

If I'm not pregnant, I have to figure out how to tell my husband when he comes home from Iraq on Wednesday. I probably won't get to talk to him between the beta on Monday and his homecoming on Wednesday because he'll be making his way across the world on an airplane with at least five stops to refuel. Will the homecoming be tainted with sorrow? [insert melodramatic music]

If I'm not pregnant, then I guess I have to get my ass back in gear and substitute or something once we get to Missouri. I'll need to pick up teaching at least four online classes to get back on the savings route for future treatments.

If I'm not pregnant, my mom, dad, and sister will all be gracious and understanding that this cycle didn't work. Yet, I know that they all desperately want a grandbaby/niece or nephew just as much as I want a little munchkin. I don't look forward to them being disappointed. They are such a great family.

As much as I can hope for a BFP, the reality is that this a BFN could happen too, right? If it comes, I'll deal with it. But I have to be prepared for it either way. Today I guess I'm wallowing in the negative.


BTW, I got a big fat Facebook lecture from a friend of a friend (who did IVF) for walking my dogs. Can I not do this during my 2ww?


  1. First of all, yes-you can walk yuor dogs during the 2ww. I wouldn't recommend running them but yeah, walking from what I know is fine.

    I have been thinking about you this morning. I truly hope that you get a BFP with this cycle. But I also completely understand wallowing in the negative-that's what I did yesterday. I think that we IF gals need that every once in a while.

    *hugs* and *TONS of sticky dust*

  2. REST please! :) you are in my prayers.

  3. Ugh...the tww wait is BRUTAL!!! Its so hard to battle with all the thoughts going through your head...especially when we've seen more negatives than postives (if any positives!) in other attempts...*sigh*


    There is hope yet friend!! You are fine walking your dogs...get out there...move a bit...try to do "normal" things. But if you feel tired in the slightest...just rest...take it easy.

    BTW I'm a little bitter about the fact that you have your beta on the same day I do and I did a 6dt on the 4th!! What is up with my RE??!!!

  4. Damn the 2ww - it's torture!! Like all the previous posters, I'd say walking the dog is all good - but definitely take it easy when your body is telling you to slow down.

    Sending lots of good thoughts your way!!! Good luck!!!!!!

  5. Ya'll are the best. Thanks for the support. :D I feel better about walking the dogs now! I also feel better for wallowing!

  6. So as one of the family member's discussed, I want to say there is no worrying about the family. I want to see you have a family. Yes, I would like to have a munchkin to hold but, I can still hug your dogs. Yeah, and in regards to the walking the dogs thing, it is the fact that they are 150 pounds of dogs that might be an issue. Or it might be the wrestling the dogs to trim their nails. Sending lots of thoughts for your happiness!!!!