I was reading THIS blog over at 3 Babes, 2 Jens, 1 Cause - Embryo Adoption the other day. The posting of an excerpt from an egg donation booklet published by Freedom Pharmacy really got me. Here is what is said:

“Perhaps the greatest myth surrounds pregnancy. Many believe the uterus is simply an incubator. Nothing could be further from the truth. The most important aspect of all pregnancies- including egg donation pregnancies- is that as the fetus grows, every cell in the developing body is built out of the pregnant mother’s body. Tissue from her uterine lining will contribute to the formation of the placenta, which will link her and her child. The fetus will use her body’s protein, then she will replace it. The fetus uses her sugars, calcium, nitrates, and fluids, and she will replace them. So, if you think of your dream child as your dream house, the genes provide merely a basic blueprint, the biological mother takes care of all the materials and construction, from the foundation right on up to the light fixtures. So, although her husband’s aunt Sara or the donor’s grandfather may have genetically programmed the shape of the new baby’s earlobe, the earlobe itself is the pregnant woman’s “flesh and blood.” That means the earlobe, along with the baby herself, grew from the recipient’s body. That is why she is the child’s biological mother. That is why this child is her biological child.”

Over time I have had a really hard time explaining why I believe there are three components of having a child: male DNA, female DNA, and the carrying the child. I guess what I should really say is growing the child. This is why I really love the the construction metaphor's explanation of the DNA being the blueprint and carrying the child as the actual building. 



When Fairyeggs told me that she wanted to do this for me (while I silently cried), she said something to the effect that if my body needed a kidney she wouldn't hesitate to give me hers. So the difference of giving me an egg wasn't really different. I thought I understood how she felt, but this explanation really gives me a deeper understanding of why I felt okay about it so quickly. I think she got this way before I ever did - probably because she's already a mom. 


While I feel incredibly lucky to have been able to carry baby E, it wouldn't matter how he came to me - dropped off by the stork, from my own eggs, whatever. Hands down, he's still the best thing to ever come into my life. The labels of biological mom or donor eggs don't really come into my radar. The only label that really matters to me is that I am called his mom. 


xoxo

merry-go-round

Roller-coaster? Tight-rope? Space Mountain? Today I've decided I'm on a merry-go-round. Why you ask? Because on a merry-go-round, you not only spin in futile circles, but you also go up and down on your little horse! That's pretty much me in a nutshell right now. I know, I know....I have been very aware of my craziness lately. It's because I'm really without a plan, spinning in a circle. As my family knows, I'm pretty much only happy when I have a plan. Until I have a plan, I am in full research mode making the effing plan! So here is a list of the horses that are swirling around in my head:

• The shiny pink horse (aka donor egg cycle with known donor) - My donor, FairyEggs, lives very close to a medical center where a friend of my current RE works. Yesterday I made the appointment for a consultation with Dr.M in a couple of weeks and also asked to speak to the financial coordinator. She wasn't in, but she called me with all of the financial goodies! Oh yay! Come to find out, a known donor cycle there still incurs a $7800 administrative fee at that clinic! Which would make a grand total of $19,304 + meds + some additional testing. Hmm. That doesn't really fit into my responsible budgeting. 
• The comfy horse - Bite the bullet and drag FairyEggs across the country to my current RE back in Louisiana. This would mean lots of time in a hotel. Also FairyEggs would have to be away from her FairyKiddos for quite awhile which is very hard for her. So right now, I'm waiting for their financial coordinator to call me to let me know how much a donor egg cycle would run there. Since the laws in Louisiana are different, I'm hoping for a better price and the comfort of working with people I know. 
• The shady green horse - Called Shady Grove Fertility to get the pricing for their shared risk, shared donor and also the shared risk donor programs. Wow, they really bring the price down by sharing donors cycles! What is more impressive is that they put their money where their mouth is and offer 100% refunds for their shared risk program. They also work well with out-of-town patients and have what looks like a well-oiled plan to reduce travel times. Might be worth pursuing.
• The frozen horse - Embryo Adoption/Donation. Yes, you have heard me rant about this in my previous post, but it is still an option as I might find someone willing to privately donate their embies if they are done growing their family. 
• The red horse with stars - Adoption. A fellow blogger pointed me a direction of a very reasonable domestic infant adoption program. They contacted me within an hour of my request and were very straightforward. For this though, we would really need to wait until we moved. :( Ugh.

These are all the fun things spinning around in my head. Of course my hormonal ups and downs are keeping life fun too. Good thing my husband loves me! :) 

xoxo