It's hard for me to be hopeful during the cycle right now. I caught some nasty germ from the airport or mouseland that now has me feeling like death warmed over. I literally slept all day today trying to knock it out. After all, this is really not the freaking time to get sick! My throat is killing me and my body literally feels like a truck ran over me, backed up to see what it hit, and then decided to put me out of my misery with one last smush. . . Some of the stuff kind of comes and goes, but overall, it just keeps coming.
Monday we went back to the doctor's office which definitely has a different atmosphere than my last clinic. I'm not so much concerned about the atmosphere as I am with how FairyEggs feels and the outcome. My first lining check was great at 10 mm with a triple stripe. Whoot. FairyEgg's ten follicles were actually measured this time and ranged from 8 - 12 mm. The doc thinks that the egg retrieval will be pushed to Sunday which is the day before FairyEggs is scheduled to go home. Argh! I don't want her to travel that quickly, but I guess we'll have to roll with it! We are also unsure with what happens to the eggs when you stim for twelve (or more) days. We're hoping for quality eggs.
Tomorrow FairyEgg's mom comes to visit and help out in just being here for her daughter. They really have a beautiful relationship, and I love them both dearly.
With this cycle, I have definitely reverted back to guarding my heart very carefully. I want this to happen, but I dare not hope or get ahead of myself in the planning. One step at a time right? I am also bogged down in the day to day reality of the waiting. Besides the cyle, I think about spending quality time with FairyEggs, Tink, and my family, keeping up with my work schedule from home, staying connected with my hubby and helping him edit his Masters papers, and helping out around the house.
After plunking down another $750 for FDA labs that have already been run, but have to be done again within 30 days of the egg donation and another $1k on medications, I think my husband finally tapped out. He said to me the other day that we should plan on this being our last cycle. As much as I figured this would be our last try at a fresh cycle, I've still been considering embryo donation as an option if this cycle doesn't work out. Who knows? Day by day.
xoxo
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it just never stops does it. you're not even done stims and already planning for the big what if. that stinks. i hate what ifs and IF!
ReplyDeletei hope you feel much better soon. being sick sucks, and i always seem to get sick when i travel. double whammy.
try to stay focused and positive...you have a great chance for success. i know its hard to acknowledge that so let me do that for you :o)
im so very excited for you! i am thinking of you and FE and sending you good healthy vibes!
so by this time next week u could be PUPO!
Feast on acetaminophen and gatorade and you will be okay! I have a bug like that right now and my nurse assures me that I will be just fine.
ReplyDeleteStimming for 10-12 days, or even a day or two more, is not that unusual. I did that for 2 cycles in a row (and the most recent one worked!). Slow and steady wins the race....
Thinking of you....remain calm!
It is such a huge hurry up and wait game...unending frustration. Day by day is right, girl! You can do this. ;)
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon! Take care, drink some hot tea, and REST.
What a time to be sick....I'm so sorry you feel awful!!
ReplyDeleteIts hard not to plan for the future...especially since we are accustomed to things not quite going as planned.
Staying very hopeful for you!
Slow and steady my friend. Hope you get to feelin better soon.... Celestial Seasonings makes an echinacea tea that I've always found pretty helpful. Might be worth a sip or two. Still cheering for you this cycle :) *hugs*
ReplyDeleteIm really sorry you are not feeling well. Hope everything works out.
ReplyDeleteHey there,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I am so sorry you are sick, as if you don't have enough going on right now, huh? Your post was beautifully written and I haven't been where you are yet, but completely understand some of the feelings you are having. You are so close! Fairy Eggs sounds amazing and I am typing with my fingers crossed for you and will keep on checking in! All the best to you.
Measurable follicles - so exciting! They'll grow so fast in the next few days. Hope that illness of yours subsides soon.
ReplyDeleteIt is so intense being in the middle of a cycle that sometimes we forget how strong we are. You and Fairyeggs are doing so well and I agree with the others that many people stim for a few extra days and if it were detrimental to the process then the clinics wouldnt advise to do it. I hate that you are having to plan for what happens if this cycle doesn't work and I truely hope those plans never have to be played out. Hope you knock that bug away soon and you can start feeling fit and well. xxxx
ReplyDeleteTagged on in an award ceremony on my blog! :) haha! You are in my prayers!
ReplyDelete