Wednesday, February 24, 2010

What's Next?

I must say that I have been literally showered with congratulations over the past few days from my lovely friends who read here. Each comment just brings this warmth to me that makes me smile every single time. I have heard the most delightful tears of joy over the phone from both coasts and places dotted in between. Meanwhile, I'm delighting in these moments even when I feel a little nauseous or sleepy because it makes it ever so slightly possible for me that this is indeed real.

I am pregnant.

If I write it enough times, it might actually be true.

Now for me the question is what comes next? My nurse in California finally called to give me the positive pregnancy steps to follow including slight changes to my medication. These things I know how to handle. Inject this, swallow this, carefully place that! However, she also followed this up with you need a six week ultrasound on 3/8, an eight week ultrasound on 3/22 and a ten weeker on 4/5. Of course they are in California and I am here in Missouri so I have to figure out if I can convince my new OB to give them to me and write some medical reason so that I do not have to pay for them. I have great insurance, so I figure now it's time for it to kick in. Even these things are pretty simple to deal with though.

What I really wonder though is, what's next? What's the next thing I need to prepare to guard my heart against so I don't fall apart when it happens? I know the first hurdle is the heartbeat, so this is the step I'm focusing on and I'll figure the rest out later. However, I feel almost bad for being worried. It's like I've made it to the Olympics which is a huge step in and by itself. But, now I have to figure out how to get through my short and long programs. You can't worry that you're at the Olympics right?

I don't mean to whine or complain, but I'm just flat out scared and elated all at the same time. It's like the time Sweetpea ran off in the woods when she was little. I ran miles on the trails trying to find her, only to return to my house to find her at the top of the stairs, panting, and waiting to be let in. I wanted to strangle her and hug her at the same time. This feels very much the same.

Thank you for hanging in here with me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

BTW the due date is estimated for 11/1 by the doc and 10/30 by my IVF calculator!

29 comments:

  1. Congrats!!

    I know you're scared but you are really knocked up:) Wishing you a healthy, happy and safe pregnancy.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. ICLW

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  2. Yeah for November! Although a good costume birthday party could be had for an Oct. 30th birthday too. Can't wait for the first ultrasound!!!!

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  3. Good luck sweetie!!! I am so excited for you.
    {{HUGS}}

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  4. don't be scared. enjoy every minute. this is what you've been waiting for :o)
    xoxo

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  5. oh and a scorpio baby too? lucky!!!

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  6. Mom said to lay still, do nothing and cook that baby! Enjoy (if possible) every bout of naseau and complete exhausted moment while knowing that you are doing everything possible to give the bambino a great little warm, cozy environment to roast in. Can't wait for March 8th! Did the RE mention multiples?

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  7. Congrats on a great beta number. I am so excited for you and your husband!

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  8. Enjoy every second! You will figure out a way to get those ultrasounds paid for and you will figure out every other thing along this path -- just take it one day at a time. I am so happy for you!

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  9. I don't think it's possible to not worry. I still worry every single day. And I probably will until the kid pops out. Each u/s and each step in the right direction will give you some reassurance, and help you relax. Promise.

    The first u/s should be covered by insurance because it's coded for pregnancy and every OB likes to have confirmation, and you need to check for 1 vs 2 (after IVF) and to measure the sac for gestational age. The other 2 u/s might be covered under the guise of IVF pregnancies being considered higher risk, therefore more monitoring needed.

    Also, as I learned this week, you should go by your IVF calendar since you know the exact date of conception -- Oct 30! (Your OB may have a difference of opinion, because they are so used to using LMP, but IVF cycles are obviously not normal menstrual cycles so you gotta go with the conception date). Another October baby!!

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  10. Woo hoo!!! Congrats!! I can completely relate to the I-want-to-enjoy-this-but-I'm-scared feeling. I'm sure it will lessen with time. So glad for you!!

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  11. I have been like this. Worrying about each little milestone at a time! I feel like we are so blessed, but I have this fear it could be taken away. Little hopes and milestones work for me.

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  12. WOOHOO! Congrats on your first BFP pee stick!

    ICLW

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  13. WHAAAAA HOOOOOO!!!!

    Oh Jen, I am so, so, so, so very very very happy for you! I don't even have the words, but holy shmoley, I do seem to have the tears! I am doing all kinds of happy dancing over here for you!!!!!

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  14. Awesome! Things DO get easier, believe it or not. The ultrasounds are really wonderful and life-changing. I'm SO happy for you!

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  15. Don't feel bad about worrying, I feel exactly the same way. But I believe everyone who says that it will feel a little easier as each day and each milestone is passed. Also, I liked what you said about the Olympics. Very cute.

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  16. I can tell you that the worrying won't go away but it will get better. You shouldn't feel guilty about it. It's just part of the infertility process, and we all deal with it. If you need to put it out there to make yourself feel better, I'm sure we'll all be more than happy to listen and support you!! Good luck with the ultrasounds. A Halloween baby, maybe? How fun!

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  17. I totally know the feeling...I was peeing on sticks every five seconds (is it still in there??) and had a magnifying glass next to the toilet (gotta see what's on that toilet paper!!!)...I almost dreaded going to the bathroom...BUT...

    Take one day at a time...and bask in the fact that YOU ARE PREGGO...and before you know it you'll have swollen feet and a swollen belly *wink*

    CONGRATS again!!

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  18. It has taken so much for you to get pregnant that it is perfectly normal to feel scared. Try to enjoy this time. Hearing the heartbeat is the most amazing thing ever and it will be here before you know it.

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  19. This has to be such a happy yet very very scary time for you! Just try to relax and enjoy it! Be positive and enjoy it!

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  20. Oh, I am so glad you are enjoying this time - cautiously worried seems to be a normal thing, and I hope it passes! Looks like you're going to have your baby at noon on October 31st!!! I hope you still have your Halloween socks! ;-)
    Love,
    Maddy

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  21. I think I could have written this post too. I am pretty cautious myself right now. I know the numbers are pointing in a good direction, and I am feeling things. However, I am still nervous.

    March 8th will be here before you know it! My ultrasound should be on the 12th.

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  22. Hey - congrats! Maybe we will share our birthdays on Oct 30th together :) Ahhh parenthood, Paul is giving me gray hairs now . October will be here before ya know it! :)

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  23. Stopping in from ICLW. Congrats on your BFP! It is exciting to read your post. I hope your fears subside soon and you can enjoy the pregnancy.

    Also, you're dogs are adorable!

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  24. You are indeed pregnant! I hope the u/s will bring you some peace of mind. Try to enjoy this, you worked so hard for this miracle.

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  25. Congratulations, try to soak up every wonderful joyous moment:)

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  26. Ooh, I missed the news wagon. Congratulations!!!

    I can understand you being scared and elated at the same time...I hope u/s #1 goes well, as do all subsequent milestones....

    All the very best!

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  27. Perfectly normal to be scared. Just don't let your mind veer too far away from today's truth. You are pregnant! And that is truly something to celebrate. Congratulations!

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  28. Wahoo!! Sharing tears of joy, thanks for stopping by for ICLW, I won't let Dr. Google push me around, I have decided to leave Dr. Google alone this time. I am so happy for you, congrats.

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