*sad post* @ my BIL

This morning about six I got a phone call from my nephew, the one who never calls me. I figured he either made a mistake in calling me or something was wrong. When I heard his voice, I knew it was the latter.

My brother-in-law's roommate came home to find him on the floor not breathing and without a pulse. He started chest compressions and by the time the paramedics arrived, he had a thready pulse going. They admitted him to the hospital, had to intubate him and found his kidneys in failure. After later scans today, they found no brain activity. As of our last update, they still have him hooked up the machines that are keeping him alive, but his kids plan to let him go off of them soon. He's forty-four

His brother had his kids really young, so by the time I became part of the family, they were teenagers. I'm closest to A, the middle child, who is enlisted in the Air Force. While I'm glad that all of his kids are over twenty-one, my heart breaks for them because that is still way too young to lose the parent who raised you.

I've only heard my husband cry three times: when his dad passed two weeks before he came home to visit from Korea, tears of relief when his mom passed after a painful decline, and today.

The hard part today for me is that I'm mad at him. When I first met my BIL, he pretty much had it all--good kids, a steady girlfriend, a fantastic job, a house, and all of the toys you can imagine. He drove me crazy many times with his even-louder-than-my-husband's voice and constant need to argue Italian style (aka about everything)! But generally, he was always up for fun, generous, and really supportive of my husband being with me. Then by the time his kids started getting out of the house, he went through a midlife crisis. In five years, he had pretty much lost everything. The choices that caused him to lose everything are the same that put him on the floor last night. Why didn't he take better care of himself?

Although I can deal with this, please send some good thoughts towards my husband's family as they try to work through this unexpected turn of events.

xoxo