One Born Every Minute

When I look at magazines, I want things. Things like clothes, shoes, and makeup jump off the page and tell me I'll be prettier and happier if I only had them. The models make me feel like my curvy body is lacking.  So, I learned in high school to just stop reading the glossy mags so that I didn't get caught up in negative thoughts. After infertility, baby shows became my new magazines.

While I never particularly cared for the hundreds of baby shows pre-baby making attempting years, I avoided them like the plague when I started infertility treatments. BUT NOW....after having my little love-bug, I find myself slyly drawn to them when I can't find a good movie or show to watch.

Sometimes, its the multiples shows that draw me. Of course, then I want to smack the parents because their shining positive attitudes that nothing will go wrong reeks to me of smugness. I'm sure it's not, but they just haven't had their innocence about conceiving a child shattered. Of course there's nothing wrong with having a multiple--I just thank god that I didn't have a set because my cervix never could have taken that. That makes me a little jealous too.

Other times, it's the I didn't know I was pregnant type of show. Really. Do I even need to comment on this?

Tonight I hit the show "One Born Every Minute." I watched some tonsils as a mom screamed her lungs out. Then I gaped at a quirky woman who shaved her facial area before her kiddo was born. On television! Finally, a couple who had several miscarriages safely delivered a baby girl. Sigh.  There were several moments of jealousy for me like when the baby was placed directly on the mom's chest instead of being whisked away to be examined by a NICU team. But most of all...

I just want to be the one to have another minute.

xoxo