So I went to the doctor on Tuesday to follow up from my ER visit (I know it's strange to go to the ER for mastitis but that's the way the military health care system works.) Much to my chagrin, over the weekend my non-infected breast started turning red and hot. How on earth can a girl can get mastitis while on antibiotics? Well apparently my infections have become resistant to the antibiotics which is t-r-o-u-b-l-e.
After a consultation with another doctor, my guy came back with two options: 1) throw in the towel or 2) the next time I get an infection, be admitted for IV-antibiotics.
Seriously? I usually don't feel much about this kind of crap as I try to focus on what I have to do next. Inevitably though, I spent about five minutes raging inside.
Part of me would like to blame the doctor and say that he hasn't really researched everything I could possibly do. But some things are simple. With my history, I'm more than likely to get it again. The treatment options (or non-options) are clear. The choice is still mine to make even though it is apparent what the docs think I should do.
But part of me just wants someone to say, you can't continue. Because without this clear directive, I feel like I'm quitting on my kiddo.
What I really need to do is take my own advice and be happy that I have managed to do this for three months.
I know it's not the end of the world to stop breast-feeding baby E at three months. I just want so much to be able to provide for him my excellent fatty booby juice that has immunities and has enabled him to almost double his birth weight. That's just it, it's something I want. This desire isn't a statement about the pros and cons of formula. It's just what I want--why can't I get what I want!!!
With that attitude, a temper tantrum should ensue but yeah, I guess I'll be an adult and deal with it by moving on and figuring out the formula deal.