First let me tell you--your comments and support have been a HUGE help as I lay here. It felt so good to reconnect with my bloggy friends as many of you have been here from early on and have seen me go through my ups and downs. This is simply another one of those downs. So thank you thank you.
Baby E and I are still resting here in the hospital. He's been passing his non-stress tests and biophysical profiles all week which makes me super happy. :)
More to follow when I feel like I can write worth a damn!
xoxo
Friday, August 6, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Dereliction of a Blogger and a Cervix
For many days now I have been wanting to blog but either too busy or too tired to write anything! First I didn't want to write to complain about the 60 days we've spent traveling or living in an on post hotel (because it can get old after awhile). Then I was way too busy partying like a pregnant woman (ie eating and providing old friends with copious amounts of alcohol) in California! Hitting the ground running when I landed back in Alaska, I've been busy closing on our new house. More on all of these fun fantastic events later as they definitely deserve their own posts.
Last night I surpassed my dereliction of duty as blogger and added an MIA cervix to boot. Yes, just when I thought everything was okay and I was ready to start preparing for this baby....my incompetent cervix hit.
On Friday, my husband and I shared a little loving which has been far and few between with our mutual fear of somehow hurting baby E. Later that night I noticed the mucus I had been discharging for about a week was tinged with blood which made me a little nervous. When I called L & D to check with the nurse, she indicated that it was probably something coming loose from earlier in the day. So I continued on with life, checking but not worried about this. However, on Monday, it got worse which prompted phone call #2. The nurse didn't think that it was too much of a problem, but said to go ahead and come in anyway just to check.
When I arrived, they hooked me up to hear the baby's heartbeat and for contractions which they said I was not having. After finishing the vaginal exam, the doctor asked me, "How much do you know about pregnancy complications?" Dum dum dum. You really don't want your doc asking you that! I braced myself said, "enough to know a lot of crappy things can happen." To make a long story short, I was four inches dilated with the amniotic sac and feet hanging through my cervix. Antibiotics to ward off infection and steroids for baby E's lungs were administered. They transferred me by ambulance to the larger hospital in Anchorage with the NICU (which I came to find out is ranked #2 in the country). There, I had definite contractions which slowed down a little with some lovely drugs. My new doc shot very straight telling us we had three options: 1) Have surgery to put in a cervical stitch after they pushed the amniotic sac and feet back in and then remain on bed rest in the hospital until delivery; 2) do nothing and bed rest in hospital until delivery, or 3) deliver him right then. We went with option one even though it's not typical to do this stitch after about 22 weeks. We didn't really have anything to lose with option one and our doc has had success with this even past the 22 week mark.
I may be kind of morbid in this sense, but I have the knowledge that with any surgery there are risks. So I told my husband that if I died, to know that I loved him and to make sure baby E knew I loved him dearly. After many phone calls to my family, I finally managed to wake my dad up and let him know what was going on. They whisked me off to surgery immediately after this. Thankfully everything went smoothly and they had me tucked away in the prenatal ward in the early morning. Where now I sit typing this and will remain for either the duration of my pregnancy or possibly until 32 weeks if I have someone to take care of me at home.
Speaking of home, my terrific husband is going to get to receive our household goods and unpack all by his lonesome AGAIN! Last time we arrived somewhere new, I was in my 2WW for IVF #2. He had the whole house unpacked in four days! Now he gets to do this again which will actually be a great distraction for him instead of sitting here with me.
The whole ordeal is in perspective for me. While I don't love or even like that this happened, I am grateful that everything is okay for now. I'm ecstatic that we're at 27 weeks and have a chance at a viable healthy baby. I know that I love my husband, my family, my friends, and my baby B. It could be better, but it could be a lot worse. So for that I'm grateful.
xoxo
Last night I surpassed my dereliction of duty as blogger and added an MIA cervix to boot. Yes, just when I thought everything was okay and I was ready to start preparing for this baby....my incompetent cervix hit.
On Friday, my husband and I shared a little loving which has been far and few between with our mutual fear of somehow hurting baby E. Later that night I noticed the mucus I had been discharging for about a week was tinged with blood which made me a little nervous. When I called L & D to check with the nurse, she indicated that it was probably something coming loose from earlier in the day. So I continued on with life, checking but not worried about this. However, on Monday, it got worse which prompted phone call #2. The nurse didn't think that it was too much of a problem, but said to go ahead and come in anyway just to check.
When I arrived, they hooked me up to hear the baby's heartbeat and for contractions which they said I was not having. After finishing the vaginal exam, the doctor asked me, "How much do you know about pregnancy complications?" Dum dum dum. You really don't want your doc asking you that! I braced myself said, "enough to know a lot of crappy things can happen." To make a long story short, I was four inches dilated with the amniotic sac and feet hanging through my cervix. Antibiotics to ward off infection and steroids for baby E's lungs were administered. They transferred me by ambulance to the larger hospital in Anchorage with the NICU (which I came to find out is ranked #2 in the country). There, I had definite contractions which slowed down a little with some lovely drugs. My new doc shot very straight telling us we had three options: 1) Have surgery to put in a cervical stitch after they pushed the amniotic sac and feet back in and then remain on bed rest in the hospital until delivery; 2) do nothing and bed rest in hospital until delivery, or 3) deliver him right then. We went with option one even though it's not typical to do this stitch after about 22 weeks. We didn't really have anything to lose with option one and our doc has had success with this even past the 22 week mark.
I may be kind of morbid in this sense, but I have the knowledge that with any surgery there are risks. So I told my husband that if I died, to know that I loved him and to make sure baby E knew I loved him dearly. After many phone calls to my family, I finally managed to wake my dad up and let him know what was going on. They whisked me off to surgery immediately after this. Thankfully everything went smoothly and they had me tucked away in the prenatal ward in the early morning. Where now I sit typing this and will remain for either the duration of my pregnancy or possibly until 32 weeks if I have someone to take care of me at home.
Speaking of home, my terrific husband is going to get to receive our household goods and unpack all by his lonesome AGAIN! Last time we arrived somewhere new, I was in my 2WW for IVF #2. He had the whole house unpacked in four days! Now he gets to do this again which will actually be a great distraction for him instead of sitting here with me.
The whole ordeal is in perspective for me. While I don't love or even like that this happened, I am grateful that everything is okay for now. I'm ecstatic that we're at 27 weeks and have a chance at a viable healthy baby. I know that I love my husband, my family, my friends, and my baby B. It could be better, but it could be a lot worse. So for that I'm grateful.
xoxo
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Belly Pix
For comparison:
11 weeks 5 days
18 weeks
21 weeks in hotel where we couldn't get a whole body shot!
23 weeks
Weight: +10 pounds total....gain since last appointment: ZERO! The doctor's scale said I actually lost a pound or two on my trip up here. With non stop eating out, I feel like I've gained fifteen pounds. So today was a delightful surprise!
Blood pressure: 117/75 today...woo hoo!
Clothes: maternity jeans, regular comfy athletic pants, maternity shirts with regular tank top underneath + the ever present hoodie since it can be chilly up here in Alaska!
Cravings: Still really love salad with ranch dressing, nectarines, mexican food, eggs
Actual Eating: Nectarines, apples, potato salad with boiled egg whites added, shredded wheat, yogurt, strawberry ice cream, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and ramen (possibly the worst food in the world but since I'm stuck in a hotel room...)...plus our one meal a day that we typically eat out at Q.doba, a local mexican restaurant, Out.back, McDs (hang head in shame) or wherever I can get a good salad! I can't wait to have a kitchen again!
Move Status: Just finished the inspection on our house, waiting for appraiser, hoping to close by Aug 3. Refrigerator purchased. Windows measured for blinds. Fence estimate tomorrow.
Stretch Marks: I haven't spotted any but I'm on the lookout!
Baby Name Status: Need middle name!
Love to all who read. Hope to my friends who are TTC.
xoxo
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The fish tank
My husband likened my belly to a fish tank the other day. You know how the signs on the tanks in the pet store say, "Please don't tap the glass"? That's what he likes to tell me when I rub or push on my little guy. It cracks me up since he likes to say it in a very stern authoritative voice. Mostly, I like it because I see my him start to show more of his interest in our little guy. His way of dealing with a potential loss is to not celebrate until we have that wailing baby in our arms. So while he obviously has interest, he doesn't express it as much as I do. I swear he things that I'm going to hurt the little guy because he also likes to pipe up with "abuse!" when I poke my belly. Silly man. I love him so much.
******
Today I finally got cleared to make an appointment at the hospital with the OB clinic here. Despite my hatred of making phone calls, I promptly called this morning because I really want to hear him since it's been a month! After that, I headed over to Air Force side of the joint base where the hospital is located. Looking at the hospital from the outside, I wanted to cheer and turn cartwheels. It seems like the Army hospital facilities I have seen are clean and functioning, but not that nice. This hospital looks brand new and well spaced out which gives me hope that the delivery area will be nice! Of course, I had to fill out a ton of paperwork and then find out they don't have any appointments until July 27th. Seriously? With the Army, they would usually just look at me after saying this like it is my problem. However, the nice Air Force member, took the initiative to say that waiting that long would not work. I obviously agreed and pointed out that I am high risk with my lovely blood pressure and infertility. Hopefully I'll hear back from her as promised with an appointment. It left me feeling so hopeful that this might be a good experience to bring my son into the world.
*******
On my drive over to the hospital, I got a very serious lecture from Fairyeggs that we are taking far too long to name our son. Over dinner my hubby and I were talking about this and laughing so we finally talked about a few names. He even pulled out his phone to retrieve the list I emailed him a few days ago (I am such a dork). I think one may have stuck, but we're going to mull it over. . . haha FE and Auntie D!
*******
There has been much angst over the house as we have been working through an issue with the builder and the home owner association. It's been a roller coaster, and I hope we're almost to the end of the ride!
That's it for my thoughts from all over the place.
xoxo
******
Today I finally got cleared to make an appointment at the hospital with the OB clinic here. Despite my hatred of making phone calls, I promptly called this morning because I really want to hear him since it's been a month! After that, I headed over to Air Force side of the joint base where the hospital is located. Looking at the hospital from the outside, I wanted to cheer and turn cartwheels. It seems like the Army hospital facilities I have seen are clean and functioning, but not that nice. This hospital looks brand new and well spaced out which gives me hope that the delivery area will be nice! Of course, I had to fill out a ton of paperwork and then find out they don't have any appointments until July 27th. Seriously? With the Army, they would usually just look at me after saying this like it is my problem. However, the nice Air Force member, took the initiative to say that waiting that long would not work. I obviously agreed and pointed out that I am high risk with my lovely blood pressure and infertility. Hopefully I'll hear back from her as promised with an appointment. It left me feeling so hopeful that this might be a good experience to bring my son into the world.
*******
On my drive over to the hospital, I got a very serious lecture from Fairyeggs that we are taking far too long to name our son. Over dinner my hubby and I were talking about this and laughing so we finally talked about a few names. He even pulled out his phone to retrieve the list I emailed him a few days ago (I am such a dork). I think one may have stuck, but we're going to mull it over. . . haha FE and Auntie D!
*******
There has been much angst over the house as we have been working through an issue with the builder and the home owner association. It's been a roller coaster, and I hope we're almost to the end of the ride!
That's it for my thoughts from all over the place.
xoxo
Monday, June 28, 2010
Lovely...
Sometimes I don't handle stress well. Yesterday standing in line for a movie, I got pushed over the edge by a mundane life detail. I sat in the movie theater crying during the previews and again during a few parts of the movie which was funny not sad. I think it boils down to the fact that moving is stressful!
There are so many lovely things going on right now besides the typical moving stress. Here is the big one: we are under contract for our new beautiful house! Our negotiations went very well with us paying exactly what we wanted. Today we go meet with the builder and go over the final details of finishing up the house like the exterior paint and stairs to the porches. I can't wait to bring my kiddo home to such a fantastic place.
Speaking of the kiddo, I'm pretty sure that I feel him kicking with regularity especially late at night. This is what I've been looking forward to most in the pregnancy. I can hardly wait to get my appointment scheduled for my new doctor up here so I can hear his heartbeat again. I've missed that sound. :)
On Tuesday, we get to move into on-post lodging which should be clean and nice. Once we get there we'll have a good 20-30 days there which should add some nice stability to our lives. Yay!
The rest of the stress of moving will work itself out in time. There may be a few more crying jags, I am pregnant after all, however it will pass.
xoxo
Friday, June 25, 2010
So much stuff!
So much stuff has been going on and I'm not feeling very verbal so excuse my bullet points!
- Arrived in Anchorage to find our reservation for this week is at a complete dump! I use to do these places with no problem when I was younger, but now I find myself wishing I had spent the extra $400 for a decent place. When we first got here, we immediately went to the store to buy the heavy duty Febreeze to kill the "I'm hiding a body under the bed" smell. Hallelujah it worked!
- Upon arriving at the car vehicle pick-up facility, we found that some idiot driver couldn't shift the car into drive so he tore the whole shifter section including the cover off trying to fix it. In doing so, he disconnected and tore all of the wires that run to the transmission. Then they pleasantly informed us that they had no idea how it happened and that we'd have to take it up with the Army since it was a mechanical issue. What? I can't wait. $1400 to replace it.
- Took our FJ into the dealership to get serviced since it just drove 5k miles. Things are a little more expensive here as our big 60k bumper to bumper service ran almost $1000. Ouch.
- Went house hunting with our new realtor. Husband realized that he wanted to move towards the top of our budget so we could get a spacious house. Unfortunately, the first absolutely dreamy spacious house we found went under contract the night before we looked at it. We continued to look and found very similar house which went under contract that morning. Finally the last house of the day which was slightly over our top budget made the clouds part and heavens sing as it was just lovely and had a view. Sigh. We put in an offer and are now waiting to hear back. My hubby is very impatient with the whole waiting process (aka, he drove me crazy today!)
- Had serious cravings for Mexican food. Found a delightful restaurant near the possible house with a cheery waitress and yummy food. Love that!
- Found out that three fabulous friends are flying out to my baby shower in California! We are going to have so much fun!!!
- Baby update: I think I feel him kicking in there!
- This area of Alaska is absolutely amazing with its snow covered mountains, clear air, and gobs of trees! I'm going to love it here!!!
Take care!
xoxo
Monday, June 21, 2010
First Day in Alaska
We have arrived! Well, we're not to our final destination yet, but we are officially in Alaska in the small town of Tok. Just wanted to share with you that today is the summer solstice which means 19 hours and 23 minutes of sunlight today!
xoxo
xoxo
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