Thursday, October 18, 2012

Today was just crappy.

I woke up this morning to E's squawk on the monitor at 4:51 am. He settled down, so I trudged into the bathroom for a quick pee before falling back in bed. My hubby was just getting up for work, so he asked me, "What?" I paused and then it dawned on me that I was planning to POAS this morning. I climbed back in bed, mad at myself and stewing over the fact that I was going to have to wait so many hours to find out if this cycle was going to work.

E truly woke up a short time later and we spent an hour watching bub-bub-bubble, bubble-bubble guppies. After awhile, E leaned over and put his head on Sweetpea.

It was pretty darn sweet. Apparently, she didn't think it was so great because she got up licked him and then growled at him. It freaked the hell out of me as that's not acceptable behavior in our house. I think she gets territorial about the bed, and E was in her space. So we did a little doggie retraining and then went on with our day.

I chugged some water and decided to POAS anyway.

Bleepity, bleep, bleep, bleep.

Nevertheless, we ourselves together and headed into Anchorage. We got on-post with no problem, but E decided to throw a tantrum the minute after we pulled our number to wait for the lab. Of course we had to wait about twenty-minutes, of which, E cried the whole time. No matter what I offered or did, he was just inconsolable.

While I was in Anchorage, we went ahead and ran errands. E was miserable the whole time, fighting me at every turn to get down and walk or begging to be picked up. The day continued like this. I dragged us to the crappy, pain-in-the-arse mall to visit the Apple store only to find out they didn't have what I needed in stock. Ugh. Then, my hubby couldn't meet us for lunch. Then the clinic called while I was desperately trying to wrangle my son back into the cart at Costco.

It just went on and craptastic day.

While I know these are small annoyances in the grand scheme of it all...

today of all days I was just heart-broken with a huge weight in the middle of my chest.

I don't know what I would have done without my little boy to snuggle with tonight.



  1. I am so sorry that you didn't get yoru BFP lady. I don't think any words I say would be right.

    1. Thanks Siera. <3 I appreciate just the thought.

    2. I'm so sorry, too! I think there are no words to convey how much that sucks! I'm glad you have E in your life to to help balm the pain. Thinking of you

  2. This is not the news I wished for you. I'm sorry Jen.

  3. I'm so sorry. Give E an extra hug from all of us.

  4. I'm sorry Jen. :-( Big hugs to you.

  5. I'm really bummed for you Jen. So sorry for the BFN all wrapped up in a pretty crappy day. Love on E....I'm sure he is a great snuggler.

  6. Sorry about the negative. Hoping that you have better days on the horizon.

  7. Oh Jen, my heart ACHES for you. I'm so sorry it was negative, I'm sorry for the crappy day too. Thinking of you so much.x

  8. Oh Jen. I'm so very sorry. Yes, that is a crappy day. Thinking of you.

  9. So sorry this one did not happen. I know having your beautiful little boy is a comfort, but it doesn't diminish this disappointment.