In the course of my readings, I came across a post about a blogger who is going to donate her remaining embryos.
And I cried.
There was something in that moment that reopened the longing that I still have for a second child despite my decision. While I made a decision, I reconsider it frequently. Because despite the fact that a second pregnancy comes with risks, I could have a successful and relatively normal pregnancy with an early cerclage.
The other issue that I didn't bring up before...
We have been on the Miracles Waiting website for almost two years and have never been the right match with another family. While I've had several people make inquiries, the fact that we are too far away with the military, have a child already, are not religious enough, or not liberal have seemed to be factors. We are just kind of a middle of the road family--financially stable, teacher and soldier, not particularly religious but with strong values, more on the conservative side of things, with a son and a dog! Even though I never mention it to anyone, the seeming rejection has also taken a toll on me.
So when I read a post about a person deciding to share her embryos with another family, hope reopened. I have simply never known anyone in the position to do this. The thought behind her generosity gave me hope that eventually we might find someone who felt like we were a good match.
I wrote her an email and also attached our profile for her consideration. As I said to her, stranger things have been known to happen. But at the same time, I feel kind of awkward that it might feel like pressure coming from a blog reader. Social faux pas for one? Thank you very much.