Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Are you ready...

for CD1?

While we haven't wrapped up the contracts yet, we are going ahead with the the planning for il bel bambino (aka baby #2). With a few short emails written from my phone over the past week, I got my very own prescription for birth control pills to start today. I admit that this got me pretty excited because 1) I don't have to bleed for a billion days. Yay for me! 2) I get to start on another amazing journey.

I've got a lot of emotions swirling around me regarding this cycle. I'll try to sum them up.

I'm grateful. I'm grateful to just to have the chance to add a child to our family while also gaining an amazing connection with another family. I'm grateful that E will have a sibling and more 'cousins' to add to the list of people who love him.

I'm terrified. I often think of disrupted adoptions. Someone chooses a couple and then changes their mind. A very tiny illogical part of me is afraid that the couple will change their mind to share their embryos with us.

I'm joyful. Having E in my life fills me with joy at the most unexpected times...hearing his belly laugh, feeling the warmth of him while he curls up next to me, dancing to the Wiggles... I can't wait to have this joy x 2. Is it even possible to be that happy?

I'm scared. I'm scared that my cervix will fail me (better tie that sucker tight doc!)

I'm hopeful. I see pictures of the children from the family who chose us, and I just feel full of hope. What's he going to look like? Will he have that fantastic grin? Will she have that soft pink glow?

All I know now is that with this little birth control pill, it has started. Whootwhoo!

xoxo

11 comments:

  1. Congratulations on beginning your journey to baby #2. Hope everything goes smoothly and you are soon prego with a sibling for E!! Best of luck to you!

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  2. What an exciting day - I'm so excited for you. Can't wait to join the journey with you!

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  3. Very exciting stuff! Best of luck!

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  4. I am soooo excited for you!!!! I remember my anticipation as well....ours was an anonymous embryo donation....but still so much excitement. I will keep all the good baby dust coming your way! Yay for beginning again!!!!
    kd

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  5. Oh how exciting! I'm very hopeful and excited for you!!!

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  6. There is so much hope at the beginning of a cycle. I am so happy for you. Remember the hope that you have now as the journey continues. It is a beautiful thing! Good luck.

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  7. So exciting! Can't wait to hear the good news :)

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  8. Looks like we'll be cycle buddies! I start BCP tomorrow! :)

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