With most of my crying jag behind me, I'm feeling a ton better about everything. Part of me thinks I just needed to get it out, some of it's situational, and the other part is depression.
When I got pregnant with the twins, I went off my meds that I take for depression because they're Class C drugs. There has definitely been an adjustment to life without them as I went cold turkey which is not recommended. The first two weeks were the worst as I felt like a huge witch. Within a few weeks, I evened out and was more focused on not hurling than anything. Now ten weeks later, I can tell there are differences in myself when it comes to being more quick to anger, not feeling social and also the crying jag that ensued on Monday.
The next morning after I wrote my post, I called my doctor and told him he needed to reschedule the cerclage for next week. The nurse who called passed along that my doctor thought it was really important to do it this week while I was still fourteen weeks. I burst into tears on the phone, telling her that we just didn't have enough coverage for my son. They understood, and rescheduled me for Monday morning which is four days later. I called and got my mom to change her flight. Now we should be golden.
However, what really ticks me off is that I've been pushing my doctors on this issue since the first time I saw them at six weeks. I get that they don't have all of the answers in a pregnancy like mine that is complicated by history, not enough research, and twins, however changing their minds and then insisting I get it done in two days is a little much. That's why I had the discussions with them every appointment since the beginning! If I had known it would be a possibility, I would have arranged for my parents to come earlier.
Thankfully my parents are wonderful, wonderful people. Between my mother and my father, they plan on one of them being here pretty much from now through the time that I deliver and beyond if the twins are in the NICU. This was something we discussed with them before we decided to go ahead and try this time around. I'm so grateful that they can do this for us.
Thanks for your support peeps.