Although I initially planned to dedicate December to extolling my love of E, I couldn't do it after Sandy Hook. Once the dedications to each victim started appearing all over social media, I just felt gutted. As a mother, I just kept picturing losing E. Logically I know that none of that should stop me from celebrating my child, but I couldn't write it.
As December moved along, I went through a bevy of emotions after a seriously long cycle and then a crappy period. I'm pretty sure I was a rotten witch to my husband most of the time. With my mom here from Thanksgiving to Christmas, I indulged in some fabulous cookies, chocolate laced banana bread and cinnamon rolls. I'm pretty sure my bum is still spreading from those, but it was worth it.
Christmas itself was a picture perfect day. Scheduling a late Christmas Day dinner around E's nap time made him a happy and cheerful little boy.
More than anything, I loved how excited he was about opening presents this year, making our gingerbread house, and having guests over for dinner. Hearing him say "cistmis" and "santa" in his little voice was something I hope I never forget.
Before I knew it, Christmas was over, the tree was down and my mom was back in California. That gave me some serious blues for day or two. I regrouped though and started reflecting on the year and making some new plans. Typically I don't make New Year's resolutions because they don't typically work. Yet this year, I have some distinct efforts that deserve to be amped up.
1. To eat less processed foods.
2. To increase my sporadic exercising to consistent activity.
3. To be okay with whatever happens on our last FET.
4. To put down my iphone more.
I hope that 2013 is an amazing year for all of us. Happy New Year!
xoxo
