Before my husband and I got married, I went and bought a Nissan 350Z Roadster with the money I had been saving up--that in my head I had earmarked for our possible wedding. Yeah.
My sister and I lived in a townhouse with a two car garage where we parked both of our cars. On a usual morning, I would leave for work before her. However about two weeks after I bought the car, my sister backed out of the garage by swinging her car around right where my car usually wasn't--right into my beautiful, new, expensive convertible. The one I had just bought. The one that didn't even have a license plate yet. She forgot that the car was there and I was asleep upstairs. She was running late to work so she called me to tell me the news on her way. I hung up the phone and ran down the three flights of stairs to see my shiny black door with a small dent in it. Looking at it, I felt ill. I just felt sick about it.
Well this morning, without going into details, I had an accident happen. This time it was my fault. It wasn't a car.
Let me say that everybody and everything is absolutely okay. As a mom though I'm allowed to blow everything out of proportion. That being said--I've never felt the terror I felt this morning! I think I aged a year in the time it took for us to check everything over and realize that everything was okay. My husband was AWESOME though and managed to refrain from teasing me until hours later.
The thing is that while no one wants any accidents to happen, I am probably the hardest on myself about it because it was my fault. Let's fact it, I'm just one to feel guilt over even small things. Eventually, just like I got over it with my car, I will get over this. With my car, it was hardest with the first dent. When it got nicked and scratched by life, it got easier to deal with. I hope this is just the first of the many twists and turns that will define motherhood. I hope the first one is the hardest, but I'm not holding my breath!