Before my husband and I got married, I went and bought a Nissan 350Z Roadster with the money I had been saving up--that in my head I had earmarked for our possible wedding. Yeah.
My sister and I lived in a townhouse with a two car garage where we parked both of our cars. On a usual morning, I would leave for work before her. However about two weeks after I bought the car, my sister backed out of the garage by swinging her car around right where my car usually wasn't--right into my beautiful, new, expensive convertible. The one I had just bought. The one that didn't even have a license plate yet. She forgot that the car was there and I was asleep upstairs. She was running late to work so she called me to tell me the news on her way. I hung up the phone and ran down the three flights of stairs to see my shiny black door with a small dent in it. Looking at it, I felt ill. I just felt sick about it.
Well this morning, without going into details, I had an accident happen. This time it was my fault. It wasn't a car.
Let me say that everybody and everything is absolutely okay. As a mom though I'm allowed to blow everything out of proportion. That being said--I've never felt the terror I felt this morning! I think I aged a year in the time it took for us to check everything over and realize that everything was okay. My husband was AWESOME though and managed to refrain from teasing me until hours later.
The thing is that while no one wants any accidents to happen, I am probably the hardest on myself about it because it was my fault. Let's fact it, I'm just one to feel guilt over even small things. Eventually, just like I got over it with my car, I will get over this. With my car, it was hardest with the first dent. When it got nicked and scratched by life, it got easier to deal with. I hope this is just the first of the many twists and turns that will define motherhood. I hope the first one is the hardest, but I'm not holding my breath!
Sigh.
xoxo
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I'm so sorry. Your post gave me chills. I hope that you will be able to find some peace.
ReplyDeleteThanks Noelle...while I certainly don't want it to happen again, it was an accident. Everyone is fine--happy and healthy. I just feel bad and my husband will forever tease me about it. :) It's just one of thise things we all probably go through as moms.
ReplyDeleteYou are totally allowed to be over dramatic! Look at my blog...it's a soap opera!
ReplyDeleteI have totally done dumb things with Baby B and then I get so mad at myself. To make you feel better...We never let B sleep with loose blankets. Well, my husband went to sleep with her in the room where he sleeps (he snores) and he put her burp cloth under her chin just in case she puked in the night. I came in in the morning and it was completely covering her face!!! I freaked out and make him promise not to do it again. Well, guess who allowed B to fall asleep with the burp cloth under her chin? Yup...Me! And boy did my husband tease me. So, don't feel badly :)
And I'm always up for dramatic posts :)
When Noah had barely just turned 2 months, he slipped out of my hands and fell two feet right onto his head. I thought for sure I had killed him (oh yes, we can ALL be dramatic!) but he was just fine. I'm sure I'll be teased for life, and I'll always feel bad about it, but time has passed and looking back it was no big deal. You're a wonderful mommy, no matter the blunder! Be easy on yourself, we all have our moments!
ReplyDeleteAwww sweetie, whatever it was, I'm sure it was the most horrifying of your life! Glad all is well, and I would have been fine with the full drama, too, I promise. Look at it this way...that's the first big scare out of the way! Wait till he gets his drivers license ;-P. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteThe very morning I found out I was pregnant, I scratched my car along the garage door as I was backing out. It happens to the best of us. I'm glad everyone is okay. :)
ReplyDeleteOh Jen...this is just your official seal of parenthood! My husband and I joke about this all the time because he was the one who put the first 'dent' in our son by lifting him right into a running ceiling fan at 11 days old while trying to put him in the bjorn..one of the blades hit him right above the eye and actually broke the skin. It was horrific at the time but we joke about it and tease hime all the time and that was 1 1/2 years ago. And...just last week I put the first "dent" inour 5 week old daughter...I tripped over our son's potty chair in the bathroom and slammed baby girl's arm into the door jam....totally bruised the poor thing and I felt terrible...but we are all fine now and each of us has a "denting moment" to tease each other about for eternity! I know it was awful at the time...but I'm so glad all is okay with you and baby boy.
ReplyDeletekd
Well. There goes Mother of the Year. My son says this to me yearly. (And he's 32.) I try to get it over with in January so I can relax the rest of the year. When Lisa was a baby, I threw her up in the air and hit her head on a doorjam. I cried longer and harder than she did. Welcome to motherhood. (Did you think you'd be PERFECT??) :-) Now practice this: All's well that ends well.
ReplyDeleteI remember the first time I nicked my sons finger while cutting his fingernails. I swore I would never cut them again :)
ReplyDeleteAm I never going to live down the car incident?
ReplyDeleteGlad everyone is okay...these things happen. I've heard a million stories from plenty of moms about the time they fell down the stairs holding the baby, or banged the baby's head on the car door while putting in the carseat, or accidentally let the swaddled baby roll off their lap and down their legs onto the floor...I've had a few FTW moments with Jackson, but so far no major Parenting Fails. I fell while holding him when he was just a few weeks old, but I landed on my own bottom and he never even woke up. And there have been a few times he's peed without a diaper on, and managed to squirt himself right in the face...I have to admit, I laughed my arse off at that despite it being awful (for him). But seriously, give yourself some slack because accidents happen and we learn how to be more careful and try harder -- and all is well that ends well. :)
ReplyDeleteI have so been at fault for one of the "accidents" before - not a fun feeling at all. But you're right, it happens to all of us and as long as everyone is OK, life will go on. Sorry you had such a stressful day though friend!
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