It's hard to believe that I'm leaving for California in 18 days,
annnnnnd that I'm going to have a transfer in 26 days.
I've been popping birth control pills and prenatals for a couple of weeks now, but this week will bring a period and then my first injection. I'm amazed at the lack of needles for this cycle as I only have seven E2V injections scheduled! Talk about easssy-peasy.
The part of the process that I'm most nervous about is that we haven't finalized our contract yet. This isn't for a lack of trying by any means. The length of this has simply come from timing with life events + a few directional changes after consulting with the the lawyers. I have developed a great deal of respect for the donating family through their dedication to us during the process. With delicate issues being discussed, it's a comfort to interact with people who are understanding, straight-forward, thoughtful, and trustworthy. This alone has kept me pretty steady throughout the process. However, I will still feel better about moving forward with the cycle once everything is finalized and the embryos safely make the journey to my clinic.

xoxo

Winnie

When I was a kid, we use to travel from California to visit my two sets of grandparents every summer. Missouri and Oklahoma were such different worlds to me, filled with summer freedom, bike-riding, ice-cream, and of course piling in my grandpa's RV to go to the lake. 

Me @ 4 years old

So when my husband started talking about getting one, I got super excited. The thought of giving E and il bel bambino the same type of amazing memories that I have....priceless. Then my husband started coming home with stories from his friends who have RVs who go to the river about 20 minutes from our house every weekend. When my husband went and got pre-approved, I knew we were done in. But he held fast to his mantra of, "we're just going to look." I seriously didn't expect to find an RV that met all of our needs the first weekend we were looking, but we did. A few days later, this baby came home with us....

Winnie!

I worked my tail off to get everything stocked for our first trip just a few days later where my husband got to catch some of these....

Sweet 25-30 lb Alaskan Halibut!

E had a great time...

Forward facing for the first time (only because the rear facing connection wasn't as good)

Staring at the new digs.

So did Sweetpea...

My favorite part of the weekend was simply disconnecting from the responsibilities of home, work, and the internet so that I could just enjoy my time. I love my family.

xoxo

Ramping Up!

So in the past week, we've made a lot of progress towards il bel bambino!

1. We have a calendar!!! Whoohoo. Cartwheels and cheers over here! The transfer is scheduled for July 20th which would make me due on April 7th. And now I'm shaking my head that I've already calculated the due date because I feel so sure that this will work. There is a slight possibility that I'm setting myself up for a huge fall if it's a BFN. Eh, that's the way I roll.

2. We have tickets! E and I will be headed down to SoCal for fourteen days of sun and fun with my family.....and, hopefully a wonderfully successful transfer. Granny will be headed back with us to help me with E on the plane.

3. We have meds in the mail! Have I told you how much I appreciate the difference in price for transfer meds versus a full cycle? Awesome!

Yippee!

Whew mom. There was a lot of cheer in those exclamation points. I think I'm tired after reading that. 

xoxo

Are you ready...

for CD1?

While we haven't wrapped up the contracts yet, we are going ahead with the the planning for il bel bambino (aka baby #2). With a few short emails written from my phone over the past week, I got my very own prescription for birth control pills to start today. I admit that this got me pretty excited because 1) I don't have to bleed for a billion days. Yay for me! 2) I get to start on another amazing journey.

I've got a lot of emotions swirling around me regarding this cycle. I'll try to sum them up.

I'm grateful. I'm grateful to just to have the chance to add a child to our family while also gaining an amazing connection with another family. I'm grateful that E will have a sibling and more 'cousins' to add to the list of people who love him.

I'm terrified. I often think of disrupted adoptions. Someone chooses a couple and then changes their mind. A very tiny illogical part of me is afraid that the couple will change their mind to share their embryos with us.

I'm joyful. Having E in my life fills me with joy at the most unexpected times...hearing his belly laugh, feeling the warmth of him while he curls up next to me, dancing to the Wiggles... I can't wait to have this joy x 2. Is it even possible to be that happy?

I'm scared. I'm scared that my cervix will fail me (better tie that sucker tight doc!)

I'm hopeful. I see pictures of the children from the family who chose us, and I just feel full of hope. What's he going to look like? Will he have that fantastic grin? Will she have that soft pink glow?

All I know now is that with this little birth control pill, it has started. Whootwhoo!

xoxo

Spilt Milk

This morning I took the top off of E's sippy cup, put it on the counter, and turned around to get the milk out of the fridge.

E decided to counter surf and this happened...

Classic. I'm such a mean mom, I stopped to take a picture. :D

He was obviously fine and off on his merry way a few minutes later to drink his milk on the porch in the backyard. Thankfully the final icy patch melted last week!

xoxo

Obnoxious.

I've been really dying to tell you the details of our match, but I'm waiting for our contract to be complete before I share. So instead, you get some TMI from me.  Fair warning. 

* * * * * * * * 

I've never had a regular period. My periods fall under the category of metromenorrhagia which means that I have excessive or prolonged bleeding at irregular intervals. So, I can bleed for seven to forty-five days and then have another period a week or maybe three weeks later. It's really obnoxious. Not only does it reek havoc on my sex life, but it also makes it really hard to be prepared. Thankfully I got turned onto the diva cup last year which keeps me from spending obnoxious amounts time in el bano. 

The only thing the doctors can do about it is put me on birth control pills. Yeah...so obviously that hasn't been an option for the last year. 


So tonight, after bleeding for almost three weeks and dieting like mad (11 pounds so far!), I found myself standing at the kitchen island eating these....

fresh raspberries along with a dab of...

Can you blame me?


xoxo


Photos courtesy of http://www.vonthunfarms.com/spring and http://www.nutellachocolate.com

Comment...

This morning I got a random comment on a post I wrote a few weeks after E was born about the stank eye he gave me after his circumcision. The anonymous commenter said, "Why do you circumcise him? To make him look "patriotic" and "American"?"


I'm not sure quite how I should take this. Was this a person trying to turn the words American and patriotic into an insult? Was this person truly curious?


I must admit that my first thought was that someone was trying to insult us for this decision. If so, whoever you are, please go suck this patriotic popsicle. 

If by chance, you were truly curious as to why we would do such a thing.... I grew up in a religious community in which circumcision was traditional. AND I think it's appropriate that a son match his dad. If my husband had strong feelings against it, I would have let him make that decision. 


So there you go.


xoxo